Here's how to prepare for anal sex, according to experts:
12 tips to guide you in making anal sex as clean, safe, pleasurable, and orgasmic as possible.
If you remember any single thing from this guide, make it this: Never insert anything into your butt that doesn't have a flared base. Unlike the vagina, which comes to a full stop (hi, cervix), the rectum keeps going into the abyss of your GI tract. A flared base will keep any toy firmly rooted on the outside of your bod.
Once you have a trusty toy, use some lube, start slow, and insert the plug into your rear bit by (little) bit. "As the toy is being inserted, try to consciously relax to accommodate it. Then, have your partner remove it. Re-lube it, then insert again, suggests Dr. Goldstein. Repeat this technique of slow-in, slow-out five or six times, or until you can completely insert the toy.Read more: InStyle »
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8. Use Toys to Prepare for Anal Sex If you remember any single thing from this guide, make it this: Never insert anything into your butt that doesn't have a flared base. Unlike the vagina, which comes to a full stop (hi, cervix), the rectum keeps going into the abyss of your GI tract. A flared base will keep any toy firmly rooted on the outside of your bod. Once you have a trusty toy, use some lube, start slow, and insert the plug into your rear bit by (little) bit. "As the toy is being inserted, try to consciously relax to accommodate it. Then, have your partner remove it. Re-lube it, then insert again, suggests Dr. Goldstein. Repeat this technique of slow-in, slow-out five or six times, or until you can completely insert the toy. If it feels good and comfortable, continue. "If it's too much, it's okay to end that session and then try again another day," says Dr. Goldstein. "I instruct most of my clients to use a small plug for two weeks, then both a small and medium plug for the following two weeks, and then finally a large plug for two weeks." Basically, going from zero to hero (err, penis or dildo) in one night is asking a lot of your anal sphincters. Why does it take so long? Because your anal sphincters are a muscle, like your biceps. Exercising them increases your ability to flex and relax them on command. "Remember, since your anus is always in contraction mode, deliberate muscle relaxation is key for getting it into tip-top shape, and that takes exercise and practice," says Dr. Goldstein. 9. Or a Finger If you don't have a toy on hand (heh), anal fingering is a good option. This will help your partner learn how your anus works, anatomically. "The nice thing about finger dilation is that your partner can massage the muscles in the anus to get them to fully relax, which should lead to the most pleasurable engagement," explains Dr. Goldstein. Generally, one finger is more than enough. "Just do what feels right and always be aware of your limitations. There are no awards given to whoever can get the most fingers inside!" Dr. Goldstein notes that "long or jagged fingernails can lead to localized injury." He suggests trimming and filing your nails so that there are no sharp edges or hangnails. Yikes. (Same goes for vaginal penetration, ICYDK.) 10. Now, Onto the P-, D-in-B Anal Sex ou feel it, you like it, you want it? You got it. If you and your partner have comfortably prepared for anal sex this far, pat yourself on the back (butt), grab the lube and get at it—slowly. There are lots of great positions, but for your first-time, doggy style, missionary (and lifted missionary), and spooning are best. (Also read up on tantric sex, which is all about going super slow .) "Practice breathing deeply as your partner inserts a quarter-inch at a time," suggests O'Reilly. "As the depth increases, practice mindfulness by tuning into your breath. You'll likely find that your muscles relax as your heart rate slows." As your partner is filling you, play with other parts of your body that bring you pleasure at the same time, she suggests. "You might use your hand to rub yourself or use a powerful vibrator against your clit to ensure that you enjoy the entire experience." (Like you needed convincing.) Your partner may also lend a helping hand. But heads up: If your partner was using their fingers in your butt, they absolutely must Kim Langdon , M.D., an ob-gyn at Parenting Pod in Valley Cottage, NY. (More on this below). No matter what, follow the golden rule of anal: If it's painful, stop. It's that simple. "Anal sex should be pleasurable. It should never hurt," says O'Reilly. "If penetration is painful, stop and go back to doing whatever turns you on." (More on that: