Photo: Tatyana Ignatenkova/EyeEm/Getty Images Here’s what the relationship between a therapist and a patient should be: compassionate. Accepting. Challenging — to the point of painful, sometimes. It should be a space where you can air your flaws, where you feel free to talk about yourself practically nonstop without worrying about the person on the other end of the conversation.
That was the red flag for one of my patients, who explained at our first session that she’d left her previous therapist after they kept insisting that she go on a diet. She was comfortable with her size, but the therapist seemed convinced that she wouldn’t be happy unless she lost weight. “When I found myself editing some of my stories because they involved eating meals I knew she wouldn’t approve of,” she recalled to me, “I knew I had to leave.
But even the therapist-client relationships with no red flags — even the healthiest, most productive ones — likely should eventually come to an end. In the first session or two, you and your therapist hopefully discussed treatment goals. Perhaps you sought help to become more assertive, or finally understand why you keep getting into disastrous love affairs, or to grieve the loss of a loved one. These treatment goals are just that: goals to be achieved.
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