How to Build A Sex Scene

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NormalPeople and IMayDestroyYou find common ground in a shared production member: intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien. Here’s how she built sex scenes for two shows that explore completely different kinds of intimate encounters

Photo: Dean Sewell/The New York Times/Redux There’s a scene in Hulu’s Normal People where the heroine, Marianne , lets the guy she’s seeing tie her up during sex. Afterward, he doesn’t let her shower. “You’re worthless. You’re nothing,” he tells her. It’s a degrading encounter, and it’s memorable in a show with a sex scene in almost every episode. There’s another distinctive scene in HBO’s I May Destroy You, in which one of the main characters, Terry , meets two guys in a bar in Italy.

The Cut spoke with O’Brien about her job, the film industry’s relationship to intimate content today, and how she built sex scenes for two shows that explore completely different kinds of intimate encounters.I read the script and ask the director what their vision is and what camera angles we’re using. I want absolute clarity not just about the physical positions but what those angles are going to be. That makes a huge difference as to whether the content can be compromising for an actor.

You likened this job to what stunt coordinators do. Just as they use safety equipment like crash mats in case of an accident, what are some of the “crash mats” you put in place for a sex scene? This way, they feel way more comfortable and can professionally and artistically give themselves to the rhythm of what’s being asked of them, particularly for simulated intercourse.We teach this idea that [simulated intimacy] is a body dance, just like a fight scene is a “dance” between two people: There are rhythms, someone’s going to pretend to hit somebody, someone’s going to pretend to receive that hit.

There have been times during shooting where I’m counting the actors off like “two, three, four, rising five, six, seven, eight to orgasm,” and the director would step and say, “You’re directing them.” Actually, I first conceived of this role as an “intimacy director,” akin to a movement director. But the directors would say, “Hold on a minute, I’m the director,” which didn’t happen when I was a movement director.

 

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