How Organizers Plan To Keep The Tokyo Olympics Safe
All athletes will be required to thoroughly wash their hands once before attending the games.
AdvertisementList slidesDisposable Muscle SuitsSlipping one of these padded, nylon muscle suits onto every Olympian before their events will prevent skin-to-skin contact while still allowing viewers to get an idea of the impressive athletic physiques that lie below.
AdvertisementList slidesSnipersTokyo police have strategically placed marksmen around the city with orders of “shoot to kill” when they spot anyone exhibiting Covid symptoms.AdvertisementCancelling The Games Halfway ThroughList slidesCancelling The Games Halfway Through
This measure alone could reduce the Covid risk by 50%.AdvertisementList slidesSocial Distancing Between WrestlersA 6-foot gap will prevent these athletes from grappling, forcing them to swing their arms wildly in an effort to pin their opponents with air currents. headtopics.com
AdvertisementZip Drive Containg 3.7 GB Of Hardcore PornographyList slidesZip Drive Containg 3.7 GB Of Hardcore PornographyTo dissuade athletes from interacting with one another, each will be given nearly four gigabytes of MP4 videos of gangbangs, orgies, and fuckfests in either live action or hentai form.
AdvertisementAnthems Only Played For Countries With Handle On PandemicList slidesAnthems Only Played For Countries With Handle On PandemicMedalists representing countries with an immunization rate below 50% will be forced to stand in shameful silence and think about how their homeland has failed.
AdvertisementComical Signs Describing What 6 Feet Apart Looks LikeList slidesComical Signs Describing What 6 Feet Apart Looks LikeWhile ultimately useless in convincing attendees to stay “one dolphin apart,” “four dancing penguins apart,” or “3.5 armadillos apart,” these complete wastes of single-use plastic will humorlessly take up every square inch of wallspace in the Tokyo metropolitan area.
AdvertisementList slidesBoiling All VolleyballsWhile the balls may end up shriveled and no longer buoyant, they’ll be completely free of germs.AdvertisementAdding Chlorine To Other EventsList slidesAdding Chlorine To Other EventsFollowing the success of eradicating germs in the water polo, swimming, and diving arenas, officials have opted to fill complimentary Gatorade coolers with the powerful disinfectant and place them around the Olympic grounds for wide-scale dousing. headtopics.com
Progress 77 and Pirs Undocked from Station
The unpiloted Russian Progress 77 cargo spacecraft undocked from the International Space Station while attached to the Pirs docking compartment at 6:55 a.m. EDT.
Faulty math 🙄 These games are cursed. They should stop them now. A half-measure that would get results! I thought this was an Onion article at first. By giving cardboard beds. That's what I read somewhere If I was the person in the javelin photo, I'd print that photo big as hell and mount it on my wall. That's fantastic.
I don’t see how double teaming dolphins makes the Olympics safer lol! only the gold medals will be sanitized, 'If they really cared about their health the silver and bronze medalists should have tried harder' fake news, zip drives never even got up to a gig الصادق_ينفي_قبر_علي_في_النجف يشكي حيدر الصّميده || عباس المسعودي | هادي البديري ||كلمات: فلاح السوداني
Where are the dolphins when you need them?
Athletes Are Testing Positive For COVID Before Olympics Even StartAthletes Are Testing Positive For COVID Before Olympics Even Start “Japan was already fighting a surge in COVID cases, and now, Olympic athletes who have traveled there for the Games are beginning to get sick.” Cases are bunk. PCR test produces mass false positives. What cycle are they using at NBCOlympics Olympics
Always keep a dolphins length apart. Arguably a better unit of measurement than 26 burgers or whatever you Americans are using these days.
Here’s What Happens To Olympic Villages After The Games EndOrganizers spend billions on development for the Olympics , but what becomes of the athlete accommodation? horrible Love that!
Why do Olympic swimmers slap themselves and more of your questions — answered!Do Olympic swimmers pee in the pool and more of your questions - answered! - TODAYshow BrooklynDecker
How to Watch the 2021 Tokyo OlympicsThe Olympics are finally heading to Tokyo: Here's how to watch
Want to Be an Olympian? Train Smarter, Train HarderJust ahead of the Tokyo Olympics , we look at training routines of Olympians in different sports.
Tokyo Olympic Games: When are they and will they go ahead despite Covid?The Tokyo Summer Olympics begin formally on Friday, despite a surge in Covid cases in Japan. Great 👌 Stuff, let the games begin😁🇿🇦