How One Gaysian Man Navigated Racism And Romance To Ultimately Say ‘Asian Guys Are Hot’

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“Hey, you’re cute — for an Asian.” The most striking part about anti-Asian racism is that it often doesn’t even register as racism.

Common tropes abound from these internalizations: the meek, subservient Asian woman taking her side by the domineering white husband, the nubile Asian twink dating a balding white daddy.Because I’ve also witnessed so many healthy interracial partnerships not based on racial hierarchies.

I downloaded Grindr at the age of 18. And I got a ton of “No Asians.” The first few, I wrote off as “not the right ones.” But eventually, I couldn’t ignore the trends: Asians were just less desirable — at least this was true for the white gaze on which I depended.Craigslist shut down its “Personals” sectionBut before that, Craigslist used to have a booming forum under “Personals” dubbed “M4M” . The men using it tended to be older than on Grindr.

Billboards at a busy Hong Kong intersection. Kyle notes that the time he spent in China he grew accustomed to a new reality when it came to the representation of Asian men.After college, I lived in China for five years. And for five years, the men I saw on billboards were all Asian. And at clubs, it was mostly Asian guys too. And for the first time, I didn’t have to worry about any racial hierarchy.

And then there’s real life exposure! Go spend quality time with more Asians. They’re all around L.A. .

 

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