How New Olympic Sports Are Chosen
The Tokyo Olympics feature four new sports, including skateboarding, surfing, and karate, all chosen after a long and contentious process. The Onion provides a step-by-step guide to how new Olympic sports are chosen.
The Onionprovides a step-by-step guide to how new Olympic sports are chosen.AdvertisementOlympic Committee decides to do another Olympics.STEP 2:IOC determines if anyone can figure out what to do with weird ball they have.STEP 3:Stuff involving elephants immediately eliminated.
STEP 4:Viewers polled to determine which proposed sports they’d consider putting on in background until show they want to watch comes on.G/O Media may get a commissionSTEP 5:Ancient texts under Parthenon checked to see if “skateboard” or “break dancing” are mentioned.
STEP 6:Olympic Committee opens formal bribe period two to three years before Games.AdvertisementIOC members play the activity to see if it’s fun.STEP 8:Athletes in sport evaluated for emotional appeal in mock medal ceremony.STEP 9:Sport on cusp of approval retried in swimming pool to see if that gets it over the top. headtopics.comRead more: The Onion »
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Yeah... squash. Makes so much more sense than tennis or golf as an Olympic sport. I can’t believe this article doesn’t have a single joke about eSports. You’re slipping, Olympics will be turned into a circus show. Everyone makes fun of squash
Sam Quek's Olympics job, different sport career and Secret Millionaire husbandGold medalist Sam Quek, who is presenting the BBC’s Olympic Breakfast with Dan Walker, had to choose which sport to pursue because taking part in both was hindering her progress Doesn’t look very secret.
The U.S. Team Is Weak in Weightlifting. There’s a Plan to Raise the Bar.Team USA is a powerhouse at the Olympics . But when it comes to weightlifting, the Americans are weaklings. The 'LeBron James of Weightlifting' has the team optimistic about the future.
American Sunisa Lee Wins the Olympic Women’s Gymnastics All-Around GoldBreaking: Sunisa Lee won the Olympics gymnastics all-around final, securing a fifth-straight gold for the U.S. women in an event that was missing Simone Biles Learn from the German gymnasts who have accepted the sacredness of covering up. Go make some Muslim women friends and read about Islam. Give up this shameless display - the German girls are setting a lovely example as the West starts to move in a sacred direction Super inspiring to see and watch live! Makes me wish I didn't quit women's gymnastics when I was younger. olympics Enquanto uma desiste, apesar de toda estrutura,uma brasileira ganha prata. Contra tudo e todos mostrou o que é um atleta olímpico.
This Is The Hottest Tattoo At The Tokyo OlympicsElite athletes at the Tokyo Olympics have two things in common — remarkable talent in their area of sport and a tattoo of the universally known Olympic rings. And everybody loses in quarter finals they’ve been doing this for decades. Not sure why it’s news
Cycling-Britain's Shriever wins gold in women's BMXBethany Shriever of Britain won the Olympic women's BMX race gold medal on Friday at the Ariake Urban Sports Park.
How Olympic Water Polo Player Ashleigh Johnson Prioritizes Self-Care in SportThe gold medalist goalie is in Tokyo as part of what has been dubbed the “most dominant team at the Games.” She shares the rituals that keep her centered. Chellyjay2 theAshJohnson 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🕴🏿 theAshJohnson Thank you for sharing!