How Emotional Reactivity Causes Conflict

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We may not be able to control our feelings, but we can control how we react to them—and avoid making things worse

, contempt, disgust, sadness – evolved to amplify and magnify possible threats or trouble. They‘re a better-safe-than-sorry alarm system. They’re processed more automatically and much faster than rational judgment. In the experience of negative emotions, most thought processes go toward justifying the feeling, rather than testing the reality of its perceptual influence. As a result, they’re fraught with, which makes us overlook or discount all contradictory evidence.

Our assumptions and judgments about others are never completely accurate, though they will likely become self-fulfilling prophecies in the throes of emotional reactivity. If I think you’re a jerk, you’ll probably act like one, feeling that I’m a jerk.Most clinicians who work with couples or families have noticed increased discord, correlating with the polarization in the country at large. Of course, family conflict contributes to social conflict and vice versa.

Instead of reacting, act according to your deeper values and ask the same of your partner: “Let’s try to be compassionate, fair, and respectful.”

 

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Very true and Well said!

🙏

Not only can we begin to control our reactions, to a great degree we can rewire our brains to such end.

Don't lecture; try to be solution-focused in these articles.

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Yes, feelings aren't right, or wrong, they just are, however, I believe that we can start talking about morality when we look at how one handles their feelings.

Not if you have CPTSD CSA and you are severely triggered. It happened in front of my son 2 years ago when a paint can fell and the noise sounded like a gun shot. I blacked out, was frozen and sobbing & wet myself. IN FRONT OF MY SON 💔

Your feelings ARE your reaction... it is automatic. You can stop your initial reaction by checking yourself when healthy, normally. But even so, that emotional charge can become suppressed and get bottled up for LATER. 'Control' usually means getting suppressed. Still exists...

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