Highlights From The First 2020 Presidential Debate

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The first debate of the presidential election between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden was held in Cleveland, Ohio, on Tuesday night. The Onion looks at the highlights from the debate.\n

The first debate of the presidential election between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden was held in Cleveland, OhioTrump demonstrating ideological open-mindedness by refusing to condemn white supremacyModerator Chris Wallace struggling to keep debate’s racism confined to his dogwhistle questionsTrump falsely

accusing Biden of having secret third son named Lomax who has a gambling problemEnough chaos for your dad to convince himself that both sides are bad so he’ll be voting for Trump againTrump’s statement telling the Proud Boys to “stand by” and alarming refusal to give dozens of other white supremacist groups clear instructionsAdvertisement

 

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the fact that the headline is “HIGHLIGHTS from the first 2020 presidential debate” is all the evidence you need to know this is a article.

Who is the tiny man.....?

When three blokes are debating who decides one of them can sit down?

Both candidates making convincing arguments for presidential age limits

Lowlights, but OK.

The Vidalian Authority on politics.

The debate was horrible but it further convince me that I need to vote and I need to vote for Biden. I will walk through fire to vote in person for Joe Biden.

We already know that Trump is lying today about what he did say last night every thing he said last was on tv an now he didn’t have any idea who said that because he sure didn’t he claims

LOMAX? Sounds like something that trump uses to stay regular...

The satire of the debate was mind boggling.

WILLYOULETMETALMISTERTRUMPMISTERADICALEFANTIFAWHITESUPREMACYIDIOTRUSSIACHINAOBAMASHUTUPTHREEMILLIONSOCIALISTCLINTONCLOWN

I didn't realise I'd clicked on an onion article until it said 'MORE FROM THE ONION' at the bottom of the article. Jesus Christ, this isn't even satire at this point, this could genuinely be a real writeup of it.

“Both candidates making convincing arguments for presidential age limits” The youngest voice last night was nubile Chris Wallace at *72*

In today's news, , rather than doing political satire, just played a replay in full of the presidential debate last night. No need for satire after that.

*Lowlights

basically this sums the debate

the gold in this article

Really don’t even need a satire of this one.

Trump is the shape of turkey drumstick.

A video of a plate of shit would make for better highlights. 💰👎😕💣🎲🎱

I was a Republican who “leaned left.” Then I heard the President of the nation refuse to denounce white supremacy and issue a coded call to arms to the Proud Boys. I no longer “lean left.” I AM left. I LIMBO left. I’m so left that everything I own is in a box at Beyonce’s.

i wouldnt be surprised if the whole debate was a The Onion video

Should be quick

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