Vol 56 Issue 28, Technology, Workplace, Coworkers

Vol 56 Issue 28, Technology

‘Hey, I Think You’re Muted,’ Man Tells Coworker Screaming ‘Fuck You, Fuck All Of You’ On Zoom Call

‘Hey, I Think You’re Muted,’ Man Tells Coworker Screaming ‘Fuck You, Fuck All Of You’ On Zoom Call

7/13/2020 10:48:00 PM

‘Hey, I Think You’re Muted,’ Man Tells Coworker Screaming ‘Fuck You, Fuck All Of You’ On Zoom Call

SAN DIEGO—Noticing the woman’s lips appeared to be moving during the afternoon Zoom meeting, local man David Keely said “Hey, I think you’re muted” Monday to coworker Cassie Boyd, who was screaming “Fuck you, fuck all of you.” “Wait, nobody can hear you,” said Keely, was quickly joined by the rest of his coworkers in offering Boyd troubleshooting solutions as the woman stabbed a finger toward the camera and threatened to rip out their throats with her teeth the first chance she got. “Uh oh, I don’t think your microphone is connected. Did you try unplugging your headphones and plugging them back in? Hmm. Have you hit ‘Join audio?’ Sorry, we still can’t hear you.” At press time, Boyd had successfully unmuted her microphone and announced “Never mind” to the group. \n

SAN DIEGO—Noticing the woman’s lips appeared to be moving during the afternoon Zoom meeting, local man David Keely said “Hey, I think you’re muted” Monday to coworker Cassie Boyd, who was screaming “Fuck you, fuck all of you.” “Wait, nobody can hear you,” said Keely, was quickly joined by the rest of his coworkers in offering Boyd troubleshooting solutions as the woman stabbed a finger toward the camera and threatened to rip out their throats with her teeth the first chance she got. “Uh oh, I don’t think your microphone is connected. Did you try unplugging your headphones and plugging them back in? Hmm. Have you hit ‘Join audio?’ Sorry, we still can’t hear you.” At press time, Boyd had successfully unmuted her microphone and announced “Never mind” to the group.

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Why is he wearing a face mask in his house on a zoom call, what even are these stock photos CMcGritterson See, this is why I express my frustration by pulling out my weiner and whipping it in circles like I'm trying to take flight like a helicopter. _Dumbo__ I didn't realise the Onion did factual reporting

I learned a bunch during the quarantine but I'm mostly proud of being able to only lip-read the words 'Fuck' and 'Shit' 😂 koppol Hahah 🤣🤣 omg I said what I said! Don’t doxx me! timely

Annoying, Well-Adjusted Friend Even Fucking Meditating NowLOWELL, MA—Noting how he piled on yet another healthy practice to his perfectly goddamned balanced lifestyle, exasperated friends confirmed Wednesday that annoying, well-adjusted 32-year-old Ryan Miller is even fucking meditating now. “Christ, the emotionally stable fucker already loves his job, exercises four times a week, and now he has the balls to spend 10 minutes every morning sitting quietly and breathing deeply to clear his mind,” said longtime friend Michael Saunders, adding that it was bad enough when the irritatingly healthy Miller switched from drinking coffee to herbal tea. “Now, along with having great, fulfilling relationships with friends and family, Ryan’s built time into his healthy lifestyle to further improve his fucking self-awareness and concentration. God, that even-tempered asshole claims it’s really reducing his stress, too. Prick.” At press time, Saunders told reporters that if his aggravating, good-natured friend posted one more sun salutation picture on Facebook, he would unfriend the man on the spot. KingslyFishao Soon to join a white supremacy movement Eh, when someone starts meditating you know there's a *reason*

Disney+ Hates Lady Butts, Loves Man ButtsDisney+ is at this point pretty notorious for not letting anything good get on its streaming platform: there is little-to-no sex, cursing, or nudity, and there are multiple High School Musical installments and spinoffs. Lin Manuel Miranda famously had to edit out several “fucks” in Hamilton just to get Disney+ to stream the musical. Lizzie Maguire, meanwhile, is not allowed to fuck at all. Disney+ is prudish as hell. Suits me 🤷‍♀️ Male nudity in general is less frowned upon nipples are the most obvious example but butts are are even more similar between the sexes

Harry Styles Is Terrible at Putting Me to Sleep'Listening to Harry Styles whisper sweet nothings into my ear made me want to do anything but nod off.' 😑

Have You Noticed All the Bikers on the Streets?“This is really the great lie: that it’s just like riding a bike — you never forget. Even if you remember how to ride a bike, you might not know how to ride a bike,” writes maggielange

Girls Are Sharing Things Guys Think Are Cool That They Actually Hate, So Men, Take NoteWhy do they spit off to the side like that??? Girls? or Women? Children or adults? I don't know. I can't help noticing a lot of contradiction between what a lot of women say they want and who they actually end up in bed with. prettybasic good podcast game