My husband died a decade ago. Our daughters are now 23, 21, and 20. My youngest just announced her engagement.The old house has been a burden on me for years. It is too large, too far away from my work, and held down by too many memories. My partner of the past three years wants me to move into his new townhouse. I helped him decorate it and it is 15 minutes from work.
The market is red-hot right now and I decided to sell. I told my girls if they wanted any furniture, they needed to tell me now so I could set it aside . The girls took most of the sentimental items years ago, so I didn’t think they would mind this much.My youngest was absolutely furious with me for even considering the idea. This was the “family home” and her father would never “forgive” me for selling it. I explained I needed to downsize and the hour-plus commute was very stressful for me.
Everything escalated after that. My youngest two daughters are firmly set on me keeping the house and are trying to convince me to rent it out instead. I don’t want to be a landlord. They have called me pleading and crying; my middle daughter told me it was like “Dad dying all over again.” I sobbed after that call. My oldest told me I should do what I need to do but she always imagined bringing her children around to spend holidays in her childhood home.This hurts so much.
My partner is impatient with my daughters’ “dramatics” and reminds me the townhouse has a guest room. His family is in the military, so moving was second nature to them. My sisters think my daughters are acting like idiots. I feel like I am failing as a mother. What should I do?I understand the attachment to a childhood home but I also kind of … don’t.
Instead, use the period of time that you have a place to live—about four months by my calculations, if she’s serious about wanting you to leave by 2022—to get a diagnosis. I don’t want to suggest that this will be easy. You might have to go to multiple doctors , really advocate for yourself, and do a lot of research—all things that could take up a lot of your limited energy—but the payoff will be significant.
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