Help! I’ve Been Sleeping With My Friend for Eight Years. Should I Tell His New Wife?

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DearPrudie: I know he’s still sleeping with other women.

before or during the live discussion. Or call the Dear Prudence podcast voicemail at 401-371-DEAR to hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.Most of my friends have known one another for 15 years . I’ve been sleeping with one of them, “Jake,” once or twice a month for the past eight years. He’s been with his girlfriend for six years . I liked our arrangement because it truly was no strings attached.

Two years ago, Jake proposed to her. I thought he’d stop hooking up with me then, but he still wanted to. After a few more months, the guilt felt overwhelming, and I said I just wanted to go back to being friends, and we stopped sleeping together. But I kept wondering if I should tell his girlfriend he’s been cheating on her for the entirety of their relationship .

The sex you’ve had with Jake over the past eight years has never been “no strings attached.” You’re as surrounded by strings as if you had run headfirst into a giant ball of yarn. It’s just that most people can’t see the strings—except for you.

 

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