He Cheated in an Open Marriage

Kristi Coulter, Married 22 Years Six weeks after #MeToo hit, I had sex with a man who asked for permission when he wanted to touch me somewhere new. I was straddling him in a back seat, skirt up around my waist. My mascara was on his face, his thighs. It seemed obvious to me that he was welcome to touch me wherever. But I knew I was supposed to want him to ask. At one point he got ahead of himself and froze with two fingers inside me.

“All my jealousy was beaten out of me in college,” the artist said, when his first real girlfriend cheated on him. He’d been crushed and simply decided he’d never feel that way again. He had a tight, formal way of speaking that suited a man who thought he could decide how to feel. He said things like, “My wife takes considerable advantage of her freedom, but my extracurricular dalliances are exceedingly rare.

Wait, what? I thought. We’re licit. And then a dampness spilled down my scalp, like when you’re a kid and someone cracks a fake egg on your head. We kissed on the brick sidewalk outside. Then his eyes got clear and he looked steadily into mine for a while. “I don’t know if I can say good-bye to you while I’m looking at you,” he said, voice breaking again.The cold-egg feeling came and went. I cried so much that my eye sockets felt stretched and desiccated. I’d told my husband right away, before the wife could. We’d talked it through, reknit ourselves.

Later I’d wonder why I believed her side of the story so readily. After all, I’d believed the artist too. All I can say is that I believed her because she was believable in a way that cast his own glibness and filigreed paragraphs into a harsher light. “I’m sorry about your sunglasses,” she said as we parted. “I hope you understand why I had to burn them.”“Are you sure?”“That motherfucker,” she said. “How many women are even in this thing?”

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