Harriette Cole: I brought her to a party and her behavior made me cringe

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My family is used to it but I’m sure our host didn’t expect this rudeness.

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If this will be the first time for you to address this topic seriously, start with that. Lay it out for her, including that you have cringed at her behavior for years but not called her on it this directly before. Give her a few examples of what disturbs you about her criticism. Do not overwhelm her with every situation, though.

You may need to pause your relationship with her as she processes all that you have shared. When she is ready to reengage, she will let you know.I have a certain relative who berates me every time I do not do what she asks. She apologizes again and again, but I don’t forgive her. The best apology is changed behavior, and obviously she’s not willing to change. Should I cut her off for good?You may not need to cut her off for good, but you may decide to cut her off for now.

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