Happy Father's Day, Dad vs. Thank You, Disappointment
Hey, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
AdvertisementIs that you, Disappointment? Thanks for calling! It’s funny, I was just thinking of how nice it would be to talk to Major Disappointment on Father’s Day, and look at who’s on the line: Mr. Letdown himself.Last night during dinner, your mom and I were talking about you, Disappointment. I said, “Gina, when was the last time we heard from Failure? Three weeks? A month?” Has it really been that long since we talked, Big Embarrassment When My Friends Ask About You?
AdvertisementIt has? Wow.Hold on just a second; let me tell your mother that you’re on the line. Hey, honey, Squandered Potential is on the phone! Yeah, it’s Underachiever. He sounds like he’s not doing well and still has no prospects even though we gave him everything—love, support, everything!
AdvertisementSo, how are things going for you, Disappointment? Still not amounting to much? Things still going mediocre for you at the bullshit job you half-ass day in and day out? Get passed up for any promotions by people younger and less experienced than you lately, Disappointment? Ah, that’s my Complete And Utter Lack Of Success. headtopics.com
You know, I actually just got off the phone with Younger Disappointment a little while ago. He also seems to be doing poorly. You two! So alike. Always never quite measuring up.AdvertisementEverything okay at that sad, cheap shithole of a living space you call an apartment? Be sure to give my best wishes to Woman You’re Settling For. I’m sure she’s just barely skating by at that job of hers that there’s no way in hell I’d ever remember. Maybe someday you two will give me some grand-disappointments I can be humiliated by. Honestly, Disappointment, it really has been too long since we’ve seen you two deadbeats. Maybe your mom and I will come to the disgusting part of the city you live in and visit soon.
Well, anyway, it was nice to hear from you, Disappointment. I really ought to get going, though. The One I’m Proud Of came to visit and we are all going to get Father’s Day lunch together. I hope you know how much your mother and I are both dissatisfied by you.
AdvertisementTalk soon! Or don’t. I don’t care. You’ll never be good enough. Read more: The Onion »
Biden town hall in Cincinnati: Live updates
President Biden will participate in a CNN town hall in Cincinnati, Ohio — a little more than six months after being sworn into office. Follow here for the latest news.
Welp, this hits close😂 kylee_parkk The one that’s the extra extended length article 💀💀 hey sperm donor, you sober enough to talk? Am I disappointed An absolute 'fuck yes'!
Happy National BFFs Day! See Hollywood's Coolest FriendsJennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox have been Bffs for years — see who else is close in Hollywood bff 💕
Cross Connection dads talk parenthood and being a father during a pandemicTwo of “The Cross Connections” favorite dads, MSNBC Correspondent Trymaine Lee and former and host on Indigenous Pirate Radio Gyasi Ross join Tiffany Cross to talk about their experiences with fatherhood, and the unexpected challenges of raising a family during a pandemic. trymainelee TiffanyDCross The upside part likely a short conversation.
Two Olympics, two Tokyos: Father, son design aquatics venues decades apartWhen Paul Noritaka Tange won the rights to design the Aquatics Centre for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, one of the first things he did was to visit the grave of his father: the revolutionary Pritzker-winning architect, Kenzo Tange. For all those who are new to this working from home Bitcoin trading options Here's a little tip: Get a trusted Bitcoin expert and stick to him Blakescott64 Invest and play at similar times each day. Because : In times of chaos, your investment is your anchor to success ロイター終わってる
'I finally became a father after a gruelling 5-year IVF journey'This Father's Day, I'm very conscious that there are a lot of people still on their journey, or recognizing that they may have to take a different path to realize those dreams of parenthood. A big cause of infertility is likely due to exposure to the chemicals in plastic.
Father of 8 was set to get 2nd vaccine dose, but contracted COVID-19 and diedGordon Ballard, a devoted husband and father of eight who pushed through a lifelong illness to provide for his family, died of COVID-19 on May 17, 2021, his daughter said. I’ll pay the bills of the first 7 people to dm me 💯💯💯💯❤️❤️❤️ For all those who are new to this working from home Bitcoin trading options Here's a little tip: Get a trusted Bitcoin expert and stick to him RonelMoses32 Invest and play at similar times each day. Because : In times of chaos, your investment is your anchor to success⚖️ After seeing several testimony's on bitcoin investment, I decided to work with miss Jennings , I invested $1,000 and I earn $10,500 within a short period of trading. I just pulled out my profit this the best platform ever... I recommend her to everyone Alex_jnns01
Calvin Johnson Happy Stafford's Out Of Detroit, 'Sucked They Didn’t Let Me Go'Calvin Johnson says he's THRILLED to see his ex-teammate Matthew Stafford get traded from the Lions to the Rams ... but the WR admits it 'sucked' Detroit didn't let him move on to another squad before he retired. NicolettiCoffee 👀 Honestly i never thought to earn as much as have earn now Though i don't know the trading process at first Alex_jnns01 thought me steps to earn from Bitcoin trading have been earning massively trading with Mr Ronald Get your BTC and DM the account manager Alex_jnns01 Cry a river. He’s amazing, no doubt, I even have his jersey that I still wear proudly, but the Lions don’t owe him that. He signed the contract and they did nothing wrong by holding him to the terms he signed up for.