Halloween Sucks This Year (And Every Year)

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At the time of writing this—and I know I will regret mentioning it in, like, one week—there is a popular meme construction on social media that’s basically like: “‘X-very specific and/or innocuous thing’ lives in my mind rent-free.” As an old broad with terrible memory, the only thing that lives in the vacuous abyss I call a brain is Harry Styles, and things Harry Styles has said and done. An example of this is an interview he did with BBC Radio 1 in October 2019, when he offered an unpopular opinion: “Halloween is not fun! I’m sorry. I think, as a child, I used to leave it too late to decide on my costume, which meant I always turned up with the worst costume. So I have, kind of like... I have negative connotations with Halloween.” Preach, my dear cherub! Halloween blows. It is not fun. No one should do it.\n

” As an old broad with terrible memory, the only thing that lives in the vacuous abyss I call a brain is Harry Styles, and things Harry Styles. An example of this is an interview he did with BBC Radio 1 in October 2019, when he offered an unpopular opinion: “Halloween is not fun! I’m sorry. I think, as a child, I used to leave it too late to decide on my costume, which meant I always turned up with the worst costume. So I have, kind of like... I have negative connotations with Halloween.

If someone’s like, ‘Oh, come to this party tonight,’ and then you go, ‘Do people go for it?’ [and they say,] ‘Yes,’ and you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t tonight.’ You know? It’s not fun. I’d rather not go. Otherwise, I’m the guy who didn’t dress up.” Amen! I’m officially converting to the church of Stylesian, where our only commandment is stay the hell home.

 

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