Guy 30 Seconds Into Karaoke Version Of ‘Man In The Mirror’ Better Get His Act Together

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 33 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 16%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States Headlines News

United States Latest News,United States Headlines

MARIETTA, GA—Sources at Charley’s Bar and Grille are reporting that local man Peter Kagan, 34, who is currently 30 seconds into a karaoke version of the 1988 Michael Jackson song “Man In The Mirror,” better get his goddamn act together sometime fucking soon.

Stating that his piss-poor excuse for a first verse included numerous mumbled, mistimed, or otherwise botched lyrics, onlookers confirmed that Kagan has to get his ass into gear right quick because no one wants to watch him dick around for five minutes.

Noting that he has about 10 to 15 seconds, tops, to right this ship, sources told reporters that Kagan was more than likely in over his head when he selected the popular ballad.

“If you choose ‘Man In The Mirror,’ you best bring your A-game,” said onlooker Chris Johnson, 36, who speculated that Kagan probably doesn’t even know how long the song is. “And I’ll tell you what, I really hope this isn’t his A-game. Because what he’s doing now sure as shit ain’t cutting it.”According to sources, Kagan raised red flags well before the song even began by not approaching the stage until the emcee called his name for the fifth time.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

No one's gonna clap.

. 'He probably claimed someone else's voice via digital theft, and now thinks he can sing songs that person doesnt sing with equal ability'

'Cha'mon' pull it together dude

bridget_persch M_donohoo

Shoulda practiced in the bathroom mirror first

He better make a change for once in his life.

Either commit to it or DON'T DO IT jeez

Keep up with the fast singing boooiiii

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US

United States Latest News, United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

More American Pedestrians Are Dying Than in Past 30 YearsU.S. pedestrian deaths rose in 2019 to their highest level in three decades, according to a report that points to smartphone-related distraction as a possible factor I thought tesla autopilot was the reason🤪 WSJ article in the near future: 'Meet the man disrupting the market of profiting off of Pedestrian Deaths.' Possible?
Source: WSJ - 🏆 98. / 63 Read more »

India says US politicizing religious riots in which 30 diedIndia accuses a U.S. government commission of politicizing communal violence in New Delhi that killed at least 30 and injured scores as President Trump visited. The commission cited accounts that police had not intervened in attacks against Muslims. kraj duży,problemy jeszcze większe That's a load of crap and that from a government headed by Hindu nationalist Modi who after a former riot when Muslims were killed said, 'They needed to be taught a lesson.' Islamic countries do not defend Muslims in India
Source: AP - 🏆 728. / 51 Read more »

Here’s how the 30 Dow industrials companies are prepping for the impact of the coronavirusAs the Dow Jones Industrial Average is in the midst of what could be its worst weekly decline since the financial crisis amid concerns regarding the spread... Perhaps they should pull out of China and end their reliance on cheap slave labor
Source: MarketWatch - 🏆 3. / 97 Read more »

Biotech company Forty Seven surges 30% after hours on report of Gilead interestShares of cancer-therapy company Forty Seven Inc. shot up more than 30% in after-hours trading Thursday after a report that Gilead Sciences Inc. has made a takeover offer. Bloomberg News reported that Gilead and Forty Seven, a biotech firm that specializes in cancer immunotherapy, are discussing a number of options, including a partnership, and the company was said to have other suitors as well. Forty Seven's stock is up 192% over the past year, with a market cap of around $2.3 billion. Gilead shares ticked up slightly in extended trading. Join our telegram community for FREE - Signals - Analysis - Education - Trading Tools - News & much more Get instant access at forex forexsignals
Source: MarketWatch - 🏆 3. / 97 Read more »

Bankrupt Card Retailer Papyrus Finds Buyer for 30 LocationsA judge said bankrupt greeting cards and stationery retailer Papyrus can sell leases to about 30 of its stores to private equity-backed rival Paper Source. I love those cards Cool. Woof
Source: WSJ - 🏆 98. / 63 Read more »

30 Harry Potter Gifts For Muggles Who Take Raising a Wizard VERY SiriuslyThey'll be casting spells before you know it. ⚡️👶
Source: POPSUGARMoms - 🏆 117. / 63 Read more »