Guest Roster Assembled For Surprise Birthday Reveals Minimal Understanding Of Girlfriend’s Social Circle

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ST. PAUL, MN—Describing the majority of attendees as “acquaintances at best,” birthday celebrant Megan Randall stated publicly Tuesday that a surprise birthday party organized by her boyfriend, Kevin Collins, displayed a less-than-minimal familiarity with her social circle. “I frankly haven’t spoken to some of these people in years,” said Randall, 29, disclosing that roughly a third of the revelers who burst out of her darkened kitchen upon her return from work appeared to have been members of her boyfriend’s flag football team. “I went to college with Beth, but that was 10 years ago and we really didn’t even hang out then. The vibe was super weird because nobody seemed to know anybody else. What was Kevin thinking? There’s a guy here I dumped in high school. And he completely left out Sophia, my best friend. Honestly, it’s like he saw some pictures and heard some stories from my college days and just invited those people, which is strange since he’s heard me talk a ton of shit about them.” An explanation for the incident is not expected to be immediately forthcoming, as Randall temporarily suspended communication with her boyfriend the moment her intercom was buzzed by a group of former coworkers brandishing a bottle of Fireball.

 

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“But my birthday is next month!!!”

Great staging and photo for this one. 😎

Oh shit she knows Chelsea? God I hope Chelsea doesn't tell her about Halloween 2017 and the backseat of the Tercel.

(truth) the only one benefit to my life sabotaged and wrecked is noone invites me to any work-related parties -- but probably these are people pretending to be any coworkers I dont have since 4/2018

'Who Invited Teri? It Was Just a One-Time-Thing After Roger and Aaron's Commitment Ceremony.'

just wait it out. no one has a real social circle after 32 anyway.

Girls like boys that listen but many are smart enough not to test if the boy “was really there”. Nonetheless we screw things up. Too factual!! Hehe.

It's less of a circle and more like a square

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