Great News, ‘God Of War’ Fans! A New Expansion Pack Will Allow Kratos To Teach Atreus How To Wash The Area Beneath His Foreskin

Good things come to those who wait, and that’s certainly the case with an announcement out today from Santa Monica Studio. That’s right,tation 4 release, a new expansion will allow Kratos to teach his son Atreus how to wash the area beneath his foreskin.

in which the iconic hero beckons his young scion over to a stream and explains that the lack of circumcision in their “Greek birthing tradition” meant it was particularly important to periodically clean away bacteria and smegma that have gathered below the flap of skin. From there, we’re treated to a minigame in which the fully nude Kratos demonstrates how to gently peel back one’s foreskin and use X to wipe down the affected area with a wet rag.

What’s even more exciting is that Kratos voice actor Christopher Judge returns for a tour de force performance as he encourages Atreus with lines like,ou must become one with nature.” Pretty cool stuff! And even cooler is that Kratos repeatedly emphasizes to his wide-eyed son that this sort of daily cleanliness routine is “nothing to be ashamed about,” patting him on the shoulder as he notes that it is a time-honored ritual for men of their lineage to prevent offensive smells and infection.

Only the owner should ever retract a foreskin. If he's not old enough to do it for himself, it doesn't need done. The AAP says: 'Clean only what is seen. Leave it alone.'

…

HardDriveMag how is this not one of yours? 😂

Nice. Making light of the human rights crisis in America concerning male genital mutilation 😐

Les go

BOY

That headline sure is something 😂😂

Ok

LETS GOOOOOOO

K

🤣😂

Bruh wtf is this article ?

This is tremendous 🤣

You owe me a new phone for making me do a spit take on my phone. Also, thanks for the genuine LOL.

HAHAHAHA mattarude

'I can wash better than that, BOY!'

Fucking finally..

Wth

PurpleAndORNG

Wowzers... maybe... maybe just go back to ur boomer humor guys.

I just audibly gagged.

I hope it’s multiplayer 😏

BakasaRufaro

And yet still no ability to give Atreus a hug. Smdh 😔

Hence the game's original title, God of War Fore.

belenchuelff

what

“Don’t be sorry…be better”

Atreus is a child bro… this isn’t it

😂

Me reading the first sentence: 😃😃 Me after reading the rest: 🤡🤡

LucePlaysPS5 just what you wanted

Aaaahhhh…That’s not something I need in an expansion pack!!!

technology is amazing

Lol what

Along with millions of middle aged men

Fucking finally!!! Smegma

ReddNerd

If you „ever” had a Barbie — You will NEVER need ANY of these.

The Silent Hill Circumcision Wiki Guy just found a new favorite franchise.

xMBGx

callum_may

..... CMHambone

corybarlog have you heard of it?

BT_BlackThunder BT WHY

corybarlog

corybarlog, have you heard of this? 😆

This article sucks.

Finally, a story arc real gamers can learn a lesson from

Son, listen . . . . use.. the Cleanex down there.. you know..eum.. where your legs meet your balls.. ok, wipe wipe.. slide, grab saq, wipe left to right.. left to right.. right to left.. right to left.. and wait a few minutes before you return..

This is one of those times you like the headline, but do you read the article? I don't think I can go there...I helped him (Spoiler alert) realize he was Loki. That's where I draw the line.

Now this is too far 💀💀💀

awesome

That must be his groin area?

Who else is going to teach him about smegma 🤷‍♀️

Back when I was younger we had Sonic and Mario. These games are far too violent and inappropriate for kids to be playing. They better now show underage nudity!

corybarlog Ever heard of this?

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