MISSOULA, MT—Recalling that as a young woman she had quite the reputation for guzzling huge loads, local grandmother Edith Mooney claimed Monday that she was quite the cum dumpster back in the day. “You know, I may not look it now, but back in my prime, I was an absolute gutter slut,” said Mooney, smiling fondly as she told her grandchildren about a time at a sock hop when a group of cute boys from a neighboring town gangbanged her in the maintenance closet.
“Before I met your grandfather, I was so popular with the guys in my school that they would pass me around like a raggedy little fuck puppet. I couldn’t go to the soda jerk without getting deep-dicked and filled to the brim with piping hot jizz. For a while, I even had two handsome young fellows pounding my hole at the same time.” At press time, Mooney had reportedly retrieved an old, faded photograph of her taking it from both ends to show her grandchildren.
bloutgoggles 💯🤷♂️
OMG 💀💀💀
could you please not say that
Nancy pelosi with out make up.
you can do better than this
ijoshua_o
💀
She still up for it now?
cwild22 Mildred…
LoaOfAnxiety
Anyone catch that news article in Victoria BC of the STD breakouts in old folk homes? Lol
Gaht damn GROSS
Is that Nancy Reagan?
JC
I feel like a gay man wrote this. 🤣
Thanks. No jerking off tonight.
rosiebedford this is going to be you
Deep-Dicked.
What would be a more politically correct way to word this lol
Yep, you went there
It's times like these those kids will look back on fondly when she's gone. 💜
NateTheKnife
Nancy Reagan?
Fabulous
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nothing to be ashamed of granny!
Heggs_HHiF Wtf for? clout?
Come on Onion FFS. 😂😂
Granny doing Nancy Reagan numbers
One of those instances where the text of the article is even wilder than the headline suggests.
Grandmas love the D
Oh gross ~ just gross 🤢
'I pulled more trains than Lionel.' says proud octogenarian, with funny gleam in her eye...and somewhat more disquieting gleam on her forehead.
I can see it.
“Your grandpa’s friend used to call me Maddie the baddie back in the day”
Delete this post or prepare to get sued.
This lady should sue the pants off you
Yasss kween
She was supporting the troops in those days. This woman is a patriot.
Whoaa she'd be an interesting home health care patient
BNicholas Actually, I once live in an apartment complex and one of the residents was a female senior citizen that in life was a professional madam. She was a hoot, she was a favorite personality in the building, giving great advice to wives, and chuckles for everyone else.
Once those dentures come out, it's 'Hello sailor'
In our Family every Christmas we would play a game with Grandma called 'Bust a Nut.' We would surround Grandma and place a pecan in her mouth, take turns tapping her head until she bit through and busted the nut. She had the strongest teeth in the Family.
Alright, calm down, Nancy Reagan...
Goals
😬
I see it
Just say NO to sex with Grandma . Seriously , she is your Grandma !
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