Gorsuch Nervous About Showering In Front Of Other Supreme Court Justices

From The Archives: Gorsuch Nervous About Showering In Front Of Other Supreme Court Justices

Gorsuch, Antonin

1/20/2022 2:30:00 AM

From The Archives: Gorsuch Nervous About Shower ing In Front Of Other Supreme Court Justices

WASHINGTON—Saying he has come to dread the end of each day’s session, recently sworn-in U.S. Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch revealed to reporters Wednesday that he remains bashful about showering in front of his new colleagues.

According to Gorsuch, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is known to bring six-packs of Budweiser into the shower following a big victory in a landmark case, which he said is a type of behavior he never observed while on the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals back home in Colorado.

“There’s usually a lot of whooping and hollering after a verdict is handed down, and it can get a bit rowdy in there,” said Gorsuch, who was assigned a rusted metal locker that has reportedly remained dented since a frustrated Warren Burger slammed his fist into its door after dissenting in the 5-4 ruling of

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I ki to I Wear a condom and shower six feet apart. Should be fine. This feels very close to going too far lol I still can't believe they ever made us do this in high school at the precise age when boners appear out of nowhere without reason or warning.

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at Amazon According to Gorsuch, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is known to bring six-packs of Budweiser into the shower following a big victory in a landmark case, which he said is a type of behavior he never observed while on the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals back home in Colorado. “There’s usually a lot of whooping and hollering after a verdict is handed down, and it can get a bit rowdy in there,” said Gorsuch, who was assigned a rusted metal locker that has reportedly remained dented since a frustrated Warren Burger slammed his fist into its door after dissenting in the 5-4 ruling of Furman v. Georgia back in 1972. “Last week Kennedy slingshot his dirty jockstrap into the face of one of the clerks passing out fresh robes, and Roberts hasn’t been able to get his gavel down from the ceiling since [Justice Elena] Kagan stuck it up there with athletic tape. People are always telling me how [Antonin] Scalia loved to sneak up on people changing and snap his towel on their asses, so I’m at least glad I wasn’t around for that.” Advertisement “Although yesterday, when [Justice] Sonia [Sotomayor] saw I was going to wear my old swim trunks in the shower, she dumped talcum powder all over my head and called me a ‘textualist little bitch,’” the 49-year-old jurist added. Gorsuch went on to say that he is equally reluctant to lower his guard around Justice Samuel Alito, who is known to press his buttocks in the faces of unsuspecting court members when they’re sitting on the locker room’s bench and bending down to tie their shoes. Advertisement Reflecting on the poor hygienic habits of his colleagues, including the propensity of some to urinate while in the shower, the former appellate judge shared with reporters his fears of contracting a staph infection like the one that spread through the locker room and prematurely ended the 1999 session of the Rehnquist court. “I realize this stuff comes with the territory, and eventually I’ll have to bite the bullet and hit the showers like everyone else,” said Gorsuch, who acknowledged he has already come to accept the open secret of the court’s widespread prescription painkiller abuse. “It’s not that I’m a prude or anything—I just feel a little self-conscious.” Advertisement