God Loves Duck Dynasty Guy's Secret Child, Too

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Vile racist, noted homophobe, and all-around God-fearing Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has revealed the existence of a long-lost daughter, the product of an affair Roberston says he had in the ‘70s. A few months ago, Robertson’s son told listeners of the family podcast (?) that sons Jace and Al received a letter from a woman named Phyllis who had done a “DNA search” and thought she might have found her father. A DNA test confirmed a “99.9% match,” according to Al.\n

has revealed the existence ofRoberston says he had in the ‘70s. A few months ago, Robertson’s son told listeners of the family podcast thatwho had done a “DNA search” and thought she might have found her father. A DNA test confirmed a “99.9% match,” according to Al.“Dad didn’t remember anything, no specifics about it,” said Al.

“It was interesting becausehas been married to her husband since 1966. “We know that in all things—in all things, even—God works for the good of those who love him who have been called according to his purpose,” Robertson said, quoting the Bible in the grand tradition of men surprised by the consequences of their own actions. The news was inexplicably filed in

 

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Youthier Molly Osberg 5/29/20 11:51am If you’re looking for evidence that women bear more of the emotional burden in life, look no further then “Oh, Mom’s the one responsible for keeping track of Dad’s secret kids.”

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