Giving Yourself Permission to Take Up Space

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How to give yourself permission to take up space, according to a clinical psychologist:

We’ve all had those moments when we feel like we don’t belong. I certainly have. A few years ago, while traveling for work, I walked into an elegant restaurant in jeans and a baseball cap -- I no idea the place was going to be so fancy. The host seated me at a table in the center of room, surrounded by other diners wearing their Sunday best, and I just wanted to disappear, or at least make myself as inconspicuous as possible.

We might apologize for ourselves all the time, assuming we’re in the way, or out of place. We can feel painfully conspicuous, like the single diner in his baseball cap at a fancy restaurant. A character in a Georges Simenon novel I read in college was the extreme example of this sentiment: “Women may be especially prone to trying to be as small as possible, both in their actual size and in their physical posture. But people of any gender can try to avoid taking up space.

Permission to take up space applies no matter where you are -- even if you’re “out of place.” Because wherever you are,your place. It’s the only place you are. You might choose to leave, of course, like when I exited the too-formal restaurant. But you can do it unapologetically, with your head held high.

 

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