In the Survival Skills for Badass Bitches series, writer Melanie LaForce walks you through everything you need to know to survive the outdoors, tough situations, and/or the forthcoming apocalypse.
As we’ve ominously foretold in this column, the world is only becoming more unstable over time. A girl never knows when she’ll wind up smack dab in the middle of reversion to hunter/gatherer society. Even if the apocalypse doesn’t cast us out into the wild, there’s a certain pride that comes with ferreting out, identifying, and finally eating foraged foods. It’s a useful hiking skill: Impress your hiking pals with your vast knowledge of herbs and flora, because everyone loves a plant show-off.
Wild berries: In spring, summer, and even early fall months, you’ll find berries. Unless you’re with an experienced forager, stick to berries you have seen in the supermarket, i.e. blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries. I’ve found some warmly tucked-away wild blueberries in the north as late as September, but typically the berry season is rather short. Many other birds and mammals favor berries as well, so you’ll have stiff competition.
Another common green in urban and forested areas is lambsquarters, otherwise known as pigweed and wild spinach. True to the last moniker, it does taste like mild spinach, though is part of the amaranth family. Lambsquarters plants are extremely common; you’ve almost definitely had them growing in the back alley. They are easy to spot by their goosefoot shape and light dusty white coating.
Juniper berries grow year-round and the most common varieties are edible. If you’ve ever had gin, you’ve tasted juniper. Seasoned foragers suggest trying a nibble of a juniper berry; if it tastes bitter, spit that shit right out. The bitter taste heralds a toxic species, likely juniperus sabina, which is not native to the U.S. but often used ornamentally in landscaping. . Luckily, it takes a relatively large amount of berries to harm you, so a small taste should be okay unless you are allergic.
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