Gaming Is Finally Growing Up: This Xbox One Is Wearing A Suit And Tie

📆 2/12/2020 2:47 PM
📰 TheOnion

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Haters have always said that gaming was nothing but child’s play—an immature distraction from the more “serious” and critically accepted art forms out there in the world. But it’s time for those naysayers to bow down and accept that gaming is finally growing up, because this Xbox One is wearing a suit and tie!\n\nYup, readers. This right here is the clearest sign yet that gaming isn’t just for kids anymore.\n\nBoy, we wish we could see the stunned looks on critics’ faces when they get a load of Microsoft’s console attired in a smart Brooks Brothers suit and silk tie, and realize everything they’ve thought about video games has been dead wrong. What’s even sweeter is that the Xbox’s leather briefcase leaves no room for the argument that novels or films are the only adult form of storytelling anymore. And is that a tasteful pocket square we see in the console’s Blu-ray drive? Well, well, well.\n\nOf course, we’d argue that we’ve already had countless moments in the 60-year history of video games that settled this argument, such as when a PlayStation 2 was spotted wearing a phone headset in a drab office cubicle or when a pair of Sega Saturns was seen at their kitchen table agonizing over prenup agreements. However, none of that matters now that this mature console and its sophisticated work ensemble have put this silly debate to rest once and for all!\n\nSo listen up, gamers: next time some detractor starts disparaging your life passion as childish or shallow, you just point them in the direction of this Xbox One and its responsible, stylish business outfit. We’re pretty sure that will shut them up for good.

Haters have always said that gaming was nothing but child’s play—an immature distraction from the more “serious” and critically accepted art forms out there in the world.

Of course, we’d argue that we’ve already had countless moments in the 60-year history of video games that settled this argument, such as when a PlayStation 2 was spotted wearing a phone headset in a drab office cubicle or when a pair of Sega Saturns was seen at their kitchen table agonizing over prenup agreements.

So listen up, gamers: next time some detractor starts disparaging your life passion as childish or shallow, you just point them in the direction of this Xbox One and its responsible, stylish business outfit. We’re pretty sure that will shut them up for good.

Write Comment

I see daddy has a suit case but...

What your name ?

roderickburrell I thought that was CIAPete for a second but that briefcase is way too tall.

Watch Ps4 comin in with that Gucci shirt.

Introducing, the Xbox One Xecutive!

the onion used to be funny now it's just corny delete your account

They grow up so fast:(((((

Do you know why they call it an Xbox 360? Because you take one look at it, turn 360 degrees, and walk away.

Dad?

Was this supposed to be posted to clickhole

Don't you have a story about that time Buttigieg did high-five with an African American?

Mascott

Now Xboss.

how they hold the suitcase tho

gaymers

Bout time Xbox was good for something.

So proud 🥺

Take that Boomers.

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