Future U.S. History Students: 'It's Pretty Embarrassing How Long You Guys Took To Legalize Gay Marriage'

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DECATUR, IL, THE YEAR 2083—According to students in Mr. Bernard's fourth-period U.S. history class, it's 'really pathetic' how long it took for early-21st-century Americans to finally legalize gay marriage.

Late-21st century high school students say they can't believe "backward" Americans still treated gay couples as second-class citizens in the 2010s.

"If they thought it was the right thing to do, why didn't President Clinton or Obama or whoever just say, 'Hey, discriminating against gay people is wrong, so let's let them get married'?" said Pete Merriam, 15, who was born in an age with no death penalty and with nationwide approval of a woman's right to choose. "I get that they wanted to be reelected or whatever, but come on. That is so stupid.

 

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I thought the Onion was about humour. Who wrote this piece of shit?

This one is pretty meta to be honest...lol.

Wait till they hear how long it took to abolish slavery and apartheid ...

And weed

Deal with climate change....

That ended in kinda of a cliffhanger. They were too late to deal with global warming,— so is that classroom full of the 1%’s descendants that got to escape the worst of climate changes’ effects?

This is clearly not a class in Utah.

'The father is a man,the mother is a woman'.This is an article polish leaders thought it necessary to introduce in their constitution. It seems they were right.

Everything is racist! Who is Crispus Attucks?

Will they still trust the Christian god? Leviticus 20:13 “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”

I thought you guys were parody?

Just wait until they learn about homelessness

I mean, it is.

How optimistic.

I teach US history in Illinois today. This is ALREADY what my students say.

Omg stfu

I’d also add justice for Palestinians to that list. Too long. Still waiting

Who is you guys? I was a child when it was passed?

January 6th…

*world history

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