Furloughed SeaWorld Orca Trying To Make Ends Meet By Picking Up Trader Joe’s Shift
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.Read more: The Onion »
That orca is gonna need some flower tattoos to get a job there When asked why they hired Orca ,Trader Joe’s answered one a prepared statement ‘ It is well known we fire employees with an overly negative attitude.Orca gave us an opportunity to reduce negativity. Furthermore, we believe Orca will never be able to credibly say ‘Blood on hands’
is this real? DEY TOOK ER JERBS!!! Favor is next. No PPE The irony of many being unemployed with little to no warning, and employment raising drastically in essential places to meet demands... not even the orcas can escape it. If that doesn't work out , saw a couple of dolphins over at sprouts. Can orcas file for unemployment?
Will President Trump try this line at a White House press conference? “Global warming is a good thing. It will kill the coronavirus this summer.” You people are really bad at pretending you're Bernie supporters. Whoever you are if trump wins we all lose. That can’t be real. Damn. Never thought it would come to this.
Where does a whale even park in their tiny parking lots? they literally kill whales. vicious motherfuckers. BBCEarth is your friend. Keep him away from the seafood dept! North2North Let that Orca starve, when I visited SeaWorld it didn’t show up to the job Making humans do tricks for pieces of food and toilet paper
At least he didn't get canned and branded as SeaWorld Orca the tuna of the aquarium now at your local supermarket. bClickClack I had way better references than that god damn fish OMG, is that the Prince of Whales? But how can he hit the buttons on the cash register with his flippers? Shouldn't he be in the water?
this is so dumb that it crossed the extremely dumb threshold and into hilarity They call me Shamu and fat shame me! I may be 566 pound but I have feelings to. Kids call me baloney breath and baloney dick.Cheese nips and wolf pussy. I can’t catch a break with these bullies. Im 43 and have a bad heart because of cholesterol. I’ve never had sex w a live woman
Read the article before you comment. Vibe la revolucion! The best part is if some asshat gets in the express lane with too many items, he grabs the offender by the collar with his teeth, flips him ass over teacups into the air, then let's him land on the conveyor...and tears him into catfood. Really keeps the damn line moving. .
I thought I was tripping DrunkAtdisney hcanes100 The Onion lost a 24-0 lead at the end of the third to the Babylon Bee. TheBabylonBee This is clearly fake news, as the Orca is not wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Is this real I just thought she was a little heavy but cute anyway I feel like this is a corporatists' wet dream
lauraluhveen cantfind_molly_ you shouldve gone to trader joes. You couldve had an orca as a coworker Where’s the Hawaiian t-shirt? That’s regulation, Shamu!
SeaWorld CEO Resigns After Furloughing 90% Of WorkersCiting disagreements with the board of directors, Sergio Rivera resigned this week just five months into his tenure as SeaWorld CEO and days after the company furloughed 90% of its employees due to the coronavirus pandemic. What do you think? Wasn’t there that twitter thread about some guy simping over the girl in this photo and then connecting years later on twitter? Whale, whale, whale... Bruh i love this
Gone but not for good: Restaurants try to keep in touch with furloughed workersRestaurants are trying to stay in touch with their furloughed workers so they can be rehired easily. At Schedulefly we serve 7000 *independent* restaurants and their 300,000 employees w/ our restaurant scheduling & communication software. We’re letting customers that can’t pay use it at no charge until they re-open so owners, managers, staff can stay virtually connected.
Here's What Every Politician Is Saying About Bernie Sanders Dropping Out Of The Race“You haven’t just run a political campaign; you’ve created a movement. And make no mistake about it, we believe it’s a movement that is as powerful today as it was yesterday. That’s a good thing for our nation and our future,” Biden says.
Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer discusses why coronavirus is disproportionately affecting minoritiesMichigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, widely touted as a potential vice president pick for Joe Biden, is offering fresh evidence that the coronavirus pandemic in her state is disproportionately affecting minorities. Is she saying the Wuhan pneumonia is racist? I think it disproportionately killed Italians, but I guess she doesn’t care about them since they aren’t voters in Michigan.
Biden says government should pay ‘full cost of COBRA premiums’WATCH: During a virtual town hall, Joe Biden says, 'The government should pick up the full cost of COBRA premiums' during the coronavirus crisis. The dude cant even read his teleprompter. And Trump said that there were people dying that had never died before. And we need universal healthcare for all.
Frazzled Brides Finding Solace and Support From Designers and BrandsBrides-to-be are using Zoom and other virtual meet-ups to get the latest tips about wedding gowns.