Fox News Debuts Premium Channel For 24-Hour Coverage Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

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NEW YORK—As part of its effort to provide the most comprehensive reporting possible on the freshman congresswoman, Fox News announced Wednesday the debut of a new premium television channel that will offer continuous, around-the-clock updates on Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). “For an extra $8.99 per month, you’ll have an all-access pass to the AOC Zone, which features wall-to-wall coverage of every word Ocasio-Cortez utters, as well as in-depth analysis of her wardrobe and any videos we’re able to dig up from her college days,” said Fox spokesperson Avery Mattison, adding that the new channel will include uninterrupted live footage of the 29-year-old representative every time she appears in public, along with nonstop commentary from a 12-person panel of experts. “We know our viewers will come to depend on this outlet for 24-hour coverage of AOC, which is why her tweets, Instagram posts, and her latest wacky policy proposals will appear in a ticker at the bottom of the screen. We’re particularly excited for the premiere of the channel’s flagship program, AOC Tonight With Tucker Carlson.” Minutes after AOC Zone began broadcasting, sources confirmed its ratings had already surpassed those of Fox News.

As part of its effort to provide the most comprehensive reporting possible on the freshman congresswoman, Fox News announced Wednesday the debut of a new premium television channel that will offer continuous, around-the-clock updates on Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez . “For an extra $8.

99 per month, you’ll have an all-access pass to the AOC Zone, which features wall-to-wall coverage of every word Ocasio-Cortez utters, as well as in-depth analysis of her wardrobe and any videos we’re able to dig up from her college days,” said Fox spokesperson Avery Mattison, adding that the new channel will include uninterrupted live footage of the 29-year-old representative every time she appears in public, along with nonstop commentary from a 12-person panel of experts.

 

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Reason for Millions of dollars, hundreds troops Capitol=They don't want taxpayers, anyone to over hear the communication BETWEEN Speaker of the House, many of the Congress men and women and CHINESE, Communist China.......Are you kidding me

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Add in some other kick ass females and I'd totally watch it.

That’s actually really funny. But now do the legacy media.... ya know, the monolithic power media that runs the u.s.

In north carolina aoc means the administrative office of the court. Everytime i see it, i think what in heck is so interesting about the nc court system.

How else are they going to learn anything of importance?

Lol..it'll be called the Wacky Communist! Once per week she'll be convinced other reps from Congress are trying to kill her. They can get her a soundtrack where she has a catch phrase and her eyes go especially buggy. Kinda like Steve Irkel.

A woman that can speak her mind is terrifying to Fox News viewers.

AOC to Fox:

we_need_bts_in_Alexandria

fredric_wertham I do wish The Onion - and other satirical sites - would stop giving the QAnon Party ideas.

I feel like this is about a year away from become reality 😂

Very true, but next time go with the dumbfounded face that Tucker always makes. It's his trademark now.

When does he boil her bunny? obsessed

UGroundbreakers

julesk_fighter 6 months until this is not longer Satire and just prophetic

She really is just Trump

Only then would I watch.

AOC is so pretty and smart. I would willingly pay for this Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez premium channel. Please Fox News, please make this real! 😍😍😍😍

Yeah Tucker doesn’t tell enough lies.😆

I think they already have one 🤔

AOC

Is it called Alexandria Prime?

I thought the Onion wasn't supposed to post real news

TuckerCarlson trying with all his might to be one of the girls. AOC can be a little cliquey Tuck. You should join up with mean girls who will say anything to be popular. I mean ... you kinda do that already.

Isnt it already😂

The background 😂

There is no bad publicity. Lol

MicahBock found your new channel!

I'll take, 'Satire that ends up becoming true in the not too distant future for $800.'

SocialistMMA Too real

oh 💩 better get that lubricant oil ready 💦💦💦

Me everyday watching my new favorite tv channel

She a member of Congress. I can name 5 news network that have 24- hour coverage of a retired private citizen.

Conservative Men Are Obsessed With Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Science Tells Us Why. Conservatives respond to fear more strongly than liberals do, says one neuroscientist who studies political anxiety.

Fox looking at this knowing something like this would probably draw good ratings for them 😭

I’d watch that. You never know what she’s going to say.

She's like the liberal Trump.

And they promise it won’t show up on your hotel bill

I mean is she gonna be naked & taking loads, or just running her suck about communism. I’d be possibly interested in the former but not the latter..

AOC

OnlyConservatives

And they keep applying googly eyes to her.

Is it advertising free...because they lost all their sponsors?

I totally know people who would subscribe to that channel.. 😏

I don't like Fox, but if I just mute the screen & newsfeed I get to watch AOC 24/7! Combine that with ads featuring Phoebe Bridgers, Margot Robbie, as well as vignettes on Alicia Menendez & Natasha Bertrand, and I'm in.

It’s not right wing media - it’s science! Pfwahahahahhaaaaa! Easy! Easy! Easy! Texas still wants to secede from the union it not even connected to the grid 🤪 ⚡️

Just like CNN did with Trump. Nice try, Onion

YOu're so not funny any more WhenComedyGoesDemocrat

It's not FOX it's now AOC

AOC

Many people are saying Tucker has multiple pictures of Cortez on his phone...because Tucker can’t get enough. Wonder what his wife thinks of his obsession?

Bet tackerson would sub to her onlyfans if she ever had one

I’d watch

Is that paired with the new CNN station devoted entirely to Marjorie Taylor Greene?

carlquintanilla This is only available for the double wide trailers with meth labs built in.

It's rare that literally everyone gets what they want out of a situation.

I’d pay to never hear RepAOC again

AOC I know its a joke, but would I ever be shocked if it became reality?...probably not

AOC LOL

Don't give them ideas 🙄

It would get amazing ratings by conservative boomers fapping

scotia626 It is the onion

Right wing onlyfans

I bet she could kick Tucker's ass.

Ben Shapiro could not be reached for comment

Does she have an onlyfans yet?

Damn, they gave Ben Shapiro his own segment now?

What happen after midnight?

For God’s sake...Tucker Carlson can only buy so much lotion. You tryin to bankrupt him?

Simps

Must destroy progressivism ...

Didn't the Q people steal ALL her shoes Jan 6?! I need to know

Bruh

I just wanna know which president she is talking about in that quote. Trump or Biden?

IsNt ThE oNiOn SuPpOsEd To Be SaTiRe

Up from its current 18?

My in laws are ordering right now.

Turns out it's just a ton of femdom stuff.

Sign me up for RepAOC 's channel!!

Rent free.

We retort, you decide.

🤨🧐🤔 Oh it’s the Onion

Do we get a 2nd camera view of her faking stuff? Also why pay? Its all backed by the Venezuelan tourist board

Tucker Carlson and AOC - name a better duo

I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire! 😂😂😂

100% would tune in

She is really making most Republicans look stupid and the truth is she could have her own TV show and it would do great.

Fox News plays this in 24 hour loop..

Special guest: Ben Shapiro

That’s just porn for tedcruz

They should dedicate a channel to Dice Chess in my opinion

Lame

Looking forward to Ben Shapiro's 'what are AOC's feet doing' special news hour

NOYCE

Somewhere in a Fox News studio some exec is saying “fuck yeah! This is brilliant!”

How much?

This will free up space for programming on the main Fox News channel, which will now only devote 12 hours a day to covering AOC.

DistortBot

The viewer pays the subscription fee, but she lives in their heads, rent-free.

Again, Onion, please stop post the NEWS. We come here for humour.

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