COLUMBIA, SC—As the police chief expressed amazement over the general enthusiasm for receiving the assignment, every member of the Columbia Police Department was reportedly excitedly volunteering Wednesday to go undercover in a white supremacist group.
“Please let me do it! No one will work harder than me to get into their mindset and lifestyle. Two months, two years, whatever it takes. I will live like a white supremacist to get inside their heads and understand how they work. Plus, I’ve already been working on an inside source—someone I just met, somehow—so I can use that connection to gain acceptance quickly. Come on, Chief, please please please. I’ve trained my whole life for this.
The onion fell off
Binxthewonderc1 The men and women of law enforcement know who the bad cops who are fans of fascism and white supremacy are.The police should police themselves.
HazeyDaisey17 Is this even parody anymore? 🤔
If people are ok with this, than I don't see why the Babylon Bee is any different. They're both satire on opposite sides of the political isle.
GreatDismal 'BREAKING: Members of domestic terrorist militias agree to coordinate around the country via social media networks to apply to local police academies, law schools, seminaries, and tech bootcamps. 'There's a spreadsheet in the cloud', says an FBI informant.'
So much 'white supremacy.'
Ha,ha, anti-white race jokes so funny. Army veteran Noah Shahnavaz can't volunteer for anything anymore. Murdered at age 24 by a black career criminal during a traffic stop.
You mean they get to hang out with their boys.
GreatDismal People posted stuff like this, said “acab” and “defund the police” and police basically went on strike, and violent crime rates soared. Also, not reflective of reality, so therefore not terribly funny.
😂😂😂, it funny cause its so true
They already are members thee police
I thought the onion was satire.
Sir! I already have a membership there!
Rgriggsar When did The Onion start reprint real news
Why dude looks photoshopped
Good % of cops are White Supremest’s!
“What’s your cover story?” “I hate n_____.” “Whoa, whoa… that’s a little on the nose, but it’s enough for a cover.” “Cover? What cover?” 🙄
Funny, just possibly unfair to the Baltimore cop pictured in this tweet, does he deserve this?
'dress for the job you want, not the one you have'
Rastapunk24 Hell the kkkops are already members of the WS group. They don't have to go under cover.
i mean hey, you can’t pass up getting paid for your hobbies
See TheBabylonBee this is comedy. Take some notes
coryleebop Nothing they do or report is taken seriously, so it’s cool.
Oop
White supremacists excitedly agree to go undercover in police department, then find out they already work there.
where do i find the comments of people who believed this to be true?
'Pick me, pick me! I just paid my monthly dues!'
jmrbux2 It's the easiest way in.
This is so entertaining see how many leftists still think this is real news.
CO: 'Now, Phelps, this assignment requires ignificant amount of training.' Phelps: 'We can probably skip ahead a few steps.'
Getting your ass absolutely kicked by the Babylon Bee.
Ow but wow and
Film The Police
Can't wait to see how that plays out
BREAKING: Onion is opening a new business with Hunter Biden for giving services to Crack dealers and crackheads according to recent reports.
How can you go undercover in a group when you are already an enthusiastic member of said group? Double agent?
The best
There you go! Something offensive! Keep offending!
Checking... Checking... Ah, the Onion.
Guess they want to spend more time with the family.
classic onion post
A perfect example of demoralization and subversion !
EVERY MEMBER OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS GROUP EXCITEDLY VOLUNTEERS TO GO UNDERCOVER IN POLICE DEPARTMENT There fixed it for you 👌🏾
Yikes! Disparaging decent folk who put their lives on the line to protect us. Bad taste.
They don't even have to meet new people, they love spending time with their friends..
That was shit. You guys are so sad.
tmorello
tmorello
anylaurie16 This is unbelievable. Cops don't go undercover. They are openly white supremacists.
tmorello Department saves a lot of money as most of them already have the costume
Going for the jugular today I see, very good.
Helluva world when the NYTimes has turned into parody and the Onion is doing straight news.
tmorello Some of those who work forces…
CassandraNoCov 😮💨
punchnazis
theliamnissan Excited to live their dream
You’ve already done this joke
They gotta lineup private security jobs when they get fired
right because all cops are white. love but this is lazy and super insulting to black cops
The Onion is coming in hot today!!
I’m reporting you for reporting actual news when you’re only supposed to be parody!
Yup. 'Undercover' in the group they already belong to.
LRproud501 Retroactively
I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire?
I mean, every member of the group was already there and volunteering, but there will be a different uniform involved.
Underrated
For some reason this sounds like it could be accurate
Says one officer, 'I never thought I could turn my hobby into my day job.'
If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life
Willing to work all the overtime it takes.
So they volunteer for Democratic Party ?
It would be funny but it is probably truth.
Hmmm…the vast majority of the cops in my city/county are black. And I live in the south. Maybe it’s a white state thing…
If you work with your friends it’s not really work
A stop using adverbs. The understatement of the headline is what used to be funny about the onion.
Haha...because all police are already racist! See? That is why it is funny.
Doing their part.
YUP...
1/100 volunteers, the other 99 are already in the group
Networking
Nah fellas, don't worry, the rest of you can still attend like usual. It's just that Jim here will now be 'under cover'.
maureensmith232 True story
StacyFort
prisonculture I've said it before, but the reason that undercover police regularly infiltrate leftist movements but not far right extremist groups is that they are already in the latter.
NiggaTheory Ha ha ha ha ha... 'undercover.'
andrewmulligan Finally, the police can WFH!
RyanMarino I block a lot of MAGAts on here & before I do, I like to block as many of their followers as possible & take a look at who they follow. I found it interesting how often they are following . It took me a little while to figure out that they think it's all real news. 🙄
So true 😂😂😂
“undercover”
So in other words they’re double agents 🤔🤷🏾
It’s a joke people
BadJohnBrown
'Undercover' and 'actually joining' are different things....
TeressaLRaiford May as well get paid if you're going to be there anyway.
Wouldn't that be called overcover?
prisonculture Police departments *are* WS groups....
boatsandrose You mean “under covers” with …
I don't think any of these groups exist naturally at this point lmao they're all feds.
2020
Brilliant
charlesrandall You’re supposed to post satire not the real thing.
321Hero321
Hey, yeah, question. Before I sign up, I wanted to check. I've only ever worked forces. Do you think this will translate to burning crosses? Thanks.
'undercover' also under covers? I mean most cops are closet homosexuals who hate themselves that's why they beat their wives right?!
Doing straight news again?
i already know the handshake.
Bezwin34
woooo boy
Bruh I had this a short story concept lol
oom_rl Reminding readers: twitter likes are a database.
SenTedCruz 👀 hahaha
I thought you guys wrote satire. This is actually something that happened somewhere and you know it
It would be cool if you used alt text.
All except Tyrone..
AhoyLemon Can't go undercover if you're already a member
If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.
Onion now reporting actual news
They just wanted to get paid to attend meetings they were already going to attend for free...
'Undercover' part is the joke
GMaatman Even the black officers?
😂
Twit_terrorist politicians/cia, fbi .. behind white supremacists, antifa ..
'undercover'
Film The Police shirts
What's the point of going undercover in a group you're already a member of?
since they're already members
‘Patriot Front’
Sarah_Stierch Considering your last tweet...
KagroX They already even had the tattoos.
Getting pretty old.
Finally, something I’ll be good at.
Flirting with Poe's law. Love it!
😂😂😂
Are you undercover if you're already a member? Very Zen.
😂😂😂
Ickyneezer So disturbing.
I'm looking forward to the comments in this thread, to be honest with you. I'll check back later for some more comedy gold dust!
nerkles
How when most are already a part. Dude shows up and they're like ' Hey Jimmy' 'No no, I'm Adam -wink-'
Someone is going to see this and realize they’re supposed to be undercover, but they’ve gone too deep as they get their third aryan brotherhood tattoo.
AceRapscallion 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
'20 years of experience in white supremacists grups.... Undercover, ofc'
The Onion just barely even satire at this point. Ripped from the headlines.
'Oh hey Jim! So work is letting you hang out with us full time now?'
Funny but not funny, we have to laugh or we would cry.
Your sarcasm is truth!
Real news
Brother that's just vacation time to them
Grim.
The onion used to be funny but I guess that's over
LMFAO
When did the onion start reporting real news 😂
Found another tweet that the security State doesn’t like. My “like” keeps disappearing- I keep re-liking.
odouglasj LMAO oh shiiiiii
Is ANTIFA writing for the Onion now?
please share 🙏🏽 we have 2 days left. time and hope are disappearing by the hour. and i'm exhausted and so hungry. please help me save what little i have left of a family & get us out of florida 🙏🏽 i don't want to be a statistic like my mom & dad 😭💔
'We restore the original Islam of Muhammad s.a.w in all Muslim Countries, in the whole world there was one Eid and Ramadan and once again Islam was spread in the whole earth and Islam stood victorious'- Could Muhammad Qasim be the awaited Imam Al-Mahdi?
“Undercover”
TrepidationLair Lol
What a fucking dream job this website is
Zemyla Bring your own cover event
They'd love to get paid for their normal activities
Banger
'Do what you love, and you will never have to work a single day in your life!“
Is this the lie they tellin ?
🙄🙄🙄🙄
When did The Onion stop doing satire 😜
Cops were getting jealous of everyone else getting to work from home.
chulesee LOL, but also...yeah, that sounds about right.
owillis Too believable.
You guys are doing good work these days
Oklahoma City police department at it again
Wish y’all would go back to satire, but here we are..
🎶Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name And they're always glad you came🎶
carterforva There’s one admin that posts for the Onion and has some bangers 😂
They'd be perfect! Completely undetectable!
Minneapolis MN?
The onion right now. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
How can you go undercover if you’re already in?
Hard to go undercover when your friends and family are members!
Is this the sequel to Inception?
nottheonion
Hahaha!
So they are the FBI of kidnappings?
White supremacist undercover as a policeman, who's undercover as a white supremacist.
Hmmmmmm.... Suspicious?
Haha god I love the onion
not satire
Hey already attend the meetings. They may as well get paid for it.
Christie_Malry In a different one than the one they are already members of?
Mattados The onion strikes again.
ha!
ygurvitz ygurvitz In Germany it's not a joke
Police commander says 'be safe out there' as he sends his boys off to some safe bonding time with fellow off duty officers. for another true story google Capt Mark Kruger markkkruger
When the Onion is no longer merely humor but also STINGING, DAMNING political actuality, we may no longer be safe.
How can you be undercover when half the people there are already your fellow cops lol
Cop boss: ok let's just add your email into their membership database *Email already present* Boss: Cop:
As if they would ever investigate one
What happened to the black, asian and latino officers..... oh wait that's right only whites are officers. I guess my cousin didnt get the memo!
This is incredibly offensive the the 99.9% of officers who go out every day to help people irrespective of colour,gender or sexuality. This is pure race hatred, and nothing to be laughed at. This shit could prevent people in need from calling police and causing harm.
The investigation will be a white wash.
Stupid ass tweet! Even for the onions standards.
Anyone up for antifa and BLM? We wouldn’t want to stop those POS’s.
Primarily to get paid for attending a personal meeting.🐼🙄
Undercover
ProudYangGang Thank you for your service to our country🙏 You are appreciated
One of the best this year.
'undercover'
How the fuck are they gonna go undercover when they’re scheduled to bring snacks to the next meeting?
Instinct punks natural selection again.
Even Rodrick Antoine Washington? Sheeeet!
Yeah,I believe in strong white teeth as well.We need more of white supremacy.
satire sure, Onion
WV is ahead of the curve.
Leona39385834 Bless them.
based
🤨
Yet, the guys who are already members always get the assignment somehow. It’s discrimination!
How come this pic doesn’t show any black or Hispanic cops? You know they exist right?
Only to find out it was just a clever way of asking them to work for free.
under very shallow cover.
Gonna be awkward when they get there and the mayor and the city council are all hanging out
JasonMaulin You people are so gullible you don't even know this is a satire site!!
GreatDismal Undercover?
DroidLiberator didnt spike lee make a movie about this?
That's funny
LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR PEOPLE ☝🏽❣️✝️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
BenjaminPDixon ahahahha
ryanlcooper BrandonB_916
morninggloria I bet they thought way ahead and already have the tattoos done so they can easily fit in. No one will suspect anything! Brilliant!
BenjaminPDixon It’s home to them
BenjaminPDixon Spit out my coffee holy shit lol
I know it’s fuel for the fire but I can’t stop laughing
1146_goat_north This is why I stopped following The Onion 🤷♂️
atwiten Hey now you guys stick to funny fake news and stop reporting facts.
envythisenby The only good thing about 2020 is how savage The Onion has been.
How can you go undercover if everyone already knows you by name?
Ememem_ily Bhuahahaha
transform6789 How can they go undercover if they already know each other though?
A bunch forgot they were supposed to be undercover
LeftwardSwing Dear , I just called to say I love you. Sincerely, 😍
They don't even bother with undercover here. They just put on jeans and a t-shirt and march around with Turd Boys shit.
mahou_jojo That is very unrealistic, half of them would dread this assignment since you can't go undercover into an organisation you are already part of.
Even the black ones
SerkanTheWriter No need. They’re already members.
The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few. 😂😂😂
Pawgliacci White Supremacist only want their own country. Say...Texas for whites only.
- Me, sir! Pick me! I already have experience + As undercover cop? - Uh....that too
In my town 40% of the police is not white...
Okay but seriously
these 'jokes' have really been shit over the past 1-3 years. not a fan anymore
They always jump to the chance to meet their dads
Wow. Y’all comments show just how stupid people are and how y’all follow anything trendy.
JoshuaRush T_T
Now if The Onion would just go back to writing satire. Yes, I know. The entire world has turned into satire. Makes it tough.
BURN.
dish_man Hold up aren’t you supposed to be a satirical site?
I thought this was a satire news group
BethLynch2020 'shit, you mean I can get *paid* to go now?!'
Gotta give it to the Onion here, they know how to get clicks. And start arguments in the comment section apparently, which again, only gives more clicks!
Dude, you're not even trying to parody anymore. Stop spitting facts!
😂😂😂😢😢😢
The onion's satire levels have been proven time and again to be the most accurate indicator of how fucked the world currently is.
bunker_bitch Wow!
Drevincore
And the military.
SpectorID Sad that I didn't even blink and figured it was true. signsof2020
Is win-win
Do what you love for a job, and you'll never have to work another day
😂
The world: Satire is dead! The Onion: Hold my beer!
RankinNick ...and vice-versa
Every member of BLM protest excitedly volunteers to go break private property
vndrgrnd They just have to walk on in.
Whatapityonyou
Hahaha has no chill 🤣
HalpernAlex They probably are already members
Aren't you supposed to be writing satire?
Sadly could be true
swin24 'can I use my real name and then can I look exactly the same as I do now so they all think they have seen me at these events for years'
nite0wl
swin24 Change this to every member of PPD and it is no longer satire.
Wouldn't work, he's already a member
Yah I’m yah undercover
The department had 2 black members who also volunteered. 'Honestly, I think our record shows we are just as capable of this job as any white officer.'
What if we had citizens go under cover— but where? As cops?
swin24 A great parody article... can I ask a question about reality- What do you call bad cops that unite as seditious asshats & CultGOP goon squads? Bad Apple Corps? Fermented bad apples make BadAppleCorpsJackboots Lets prevent them from fermenting in our police depts please?
Isn't this suppose to be a satire site? Not real life...
Can’t tell if it’s satire anymore
Isn’t The Onion supposed to be Satire?
Chief: Okay Jim I got your name and backgrounds Jim: Don't need it I already got one *Jim walks into kkk meeting* Kkk member: oh hi Jim
'Are you a white supremacist? Because if you are, you have to tell me, it's the law'
Every now and then The Onion accidentally publish a real article
Ooo, yeah that’s not going to sit well with twitter
except the police would never target their own
Sort of a small town theater production: 'just act natural.'
Ain’t it the truth
*sniffle* It's so rare to see people doing what they love.
ACAB ACAB WTF this is why America is PROSTATIC how is this allowed?
'Me, ME! Pick ME!'
I’m old enough to remember when The Onion was satire
So bad 😂😂😂😂😂
Actual fun fact: Hitler discovered his fascist future and association by being assigned as an undercover participant on the groups pioneering the ideology. He spied on them as an agent, then joined, then led. Another Onion joke not predicted in this case, but echoing fact.
BOBSarmymom 2020: The Year satire became reality and reality became satire
StaceBaseAlpha Sickening...
JesseLaGreca I love the onion
Roosters will roost
Bad Boys 2 intro
I miss the olden days when The Onion was satire and not real news.
When did The Onion become an actual news source? I thought they were satirical. 🤣
O O F !
Fox has more fake news than The Onion these days
Even the ones that aren't white?🤯
ExtraHighMarx Lol
Onion on fire 🔥
The black ones paint themselves white or what, champ?
marysuewriter The onion is really htting their stride this year.
I wish the onion would go back to making fake news stories :(
It's too real 😭
Hahahaha 😑
portlandpolice
Just like these guys did:
For them, that's the equivalent of working-from-home
FTP
Sorry, this is just stupid.
I just feel like... this job was meant for me.
“I’ve been slowly infiltrating them for decades anyway.” - Bob Bobson
When did you guys start reporting real news?
Woke BS much? How long has the Onion been propaganda?
“I wanna volunteer to hang out with my bros!”😁
So brave
That’s one of your better ones
Can't even tell if this is satire any more
'i was doing it anyway, may as well get paid' vibes
'When do you plan to give us that report so we can catch the white supremacists in the group you're in?' 'Catch?'
It’s be funny if it weren’t a actual possibility.
Only seems fair.
The reverse is actually what's up
And they all conclude that there's nothing to see here.
It's called PTO.
Omg
This is supposed to be a satire site
Satire Police Poses Near 'Believe' Billboard To Take Realistic Photograph While Preparing To Throw Cellular Telephone At Baltimore Police Department
IPM_HQ Too real...
ecclisiastamort Surely you have that the wrong way round...
Yes Gentlemen, It’s conflict of interest if you’re already a member.
Bout as true as Hilary Clinton did not do anything wrong.
The onion used to be funny, now it’s so woke it’s crazy. So disappointing.
Brutal
Undercover. I'm thinking some of them are already ranking members.
JR28440866 Fake news.
zrbrown00
MamaBearKingdom
How they gonna go undercover when everyone there already knows them?
'Finally! A long-deserved break from work.'
TheDoorOKC
peppercoyote Ngl I thought this was real
highme It's not parody if it's true.
'This is really gonna simplify my schedule.'
KropotkinPetyr My destiny is clear. Being the Beast of the Apocalypse is a whole lot harder than I myself have ever thought possible. Fear Itself really is a very sad little Two-Tailed Fox with a Putrid Flower Bud. Such an entity is not something to laugh about.
chick_in_kiev The Onion is more getting more and more reality-based 😬
That's so brave.
LesBowen This is just a police recruiting strategy. Nothing here to see.
I’m upset that cop looks little too much like saffron olive
Garou_Hidalgo So they need to re-register?
docsquiddy
hoaxeye
Hahahaha
You would think that the editors of such a prestigious newspaper would know better than to leave redundancies in the headline like that
So, they put on street clothes and done!
Cops investigating white supremacists
radleybalko It's better to volunteer to go undercover in the vice squad busting massage parlors and back room at strip clubs.
Babylon Bee Onion
Bingo
seahawksnerd75 the only thing false about that is the 'undercover' part.
longarmsshow ... why is this more believable then actual news Articles.
ddshelby Does this mean I can expense my dues now?
ur not supposed to put real news
oh
OLAASM
NewProgressive7 And won’t out any of them.
kwyxz First day in the group : 'Hey Brian !'
They're infiltrating the police?
Damn it's a little too real.
BernieBroStar They are all members?
Because I am 'little ms optimistic' I want to think there are still good cops around. I hope others don't go 'undercover' expecting a reward of any kind. That would be disgusting!
The Onion tweet of the Year
Safest place to be for a cop in the USA these days
Sounds like a delightful mix of business with pleasure!
radleybalko
😂😂😂
MythSerene Shoutout Spike Lee
Popehat Yup they can hang out with all their friends.
radleybalko Lol
CincyPolice
myname_eddy They are a white supremacist group
Popehat I feel like this isn't satire anymore.
Popehat TheGreaterWatt
What's the joke?
ZomgShiny1 So they’re moving to another precinct?
loool
I am shocked. Shocked!
Hooray!
Holy shit outdoing themselves everytime at the Onion i swear to god i cant believe this stuff is free to read but the nytimes charges for its drivel.
What if they’re black? They gonna pull the Clayton Bigsby thing?
Here they are. Spot the police.
Art imitating life!
😂😂😂😂
We at want to assure our readers that we do indeed hope to be able to return to satire at some point in the future.
Wait, they weren't already members?
MikePerryavatar
So they can hang out with their friends more often.
When did The Onion become regular news?
Babylon Bee is getting funnier than you. This is predictable and so, so safe. Can't be funny if you're worried about getting cancelled. You're better than this.
Onion caving to mob and virtue signaling now. Pathetic.
'Get paid to do what you love, you never work a day in your life.'
They just call it 'turning up for the Wednesday meeting'
robdelaney This guy needs to interview them before the job, if you know what I mean.
Hey, . When are you going to stop posting real-life articles and return to satire?
Always nice to get paid for something you were doing already on your own.
RELATED: Nazi Police Officers Leaving Law Enforcement in Droves Citing Unfair Treatment 'All we wanted was to murder black people without prejudgement and criticism' statement reads as they return to Wyoming/Idaho militia enclaves
🤣🤣🤣
LoL
I suspect many white supremacists are undercover as police.
robdelaney I hope that photo shopped man who doesn't work for the police has been compensated for his image rights. If not you gonna have a lawsuit on your hands. 👍
i heard you are automatically put on waitlist at this point...
Our membership is up 800%!?
Is this FoxNews?
I’d hate to be the guy decided to use as their white supremacist police officer.
even the black ones?
Cover blown
'only if we get to use our nightsticks and tasers to beat some minorities...you know, to sell our cover'
LOL
Can you go undercover in a group that you're already a member? Think they'd spot you right off...
Not fully undercover, just beneath the sheets.
Jesus!! Y'all ain't never lie!! The onion out here being the only truth telling News organization!!
Aren't you guys supposed to by satire?
'At press time, a thrilled Ellerton exclaimed that he had just a few minutes to make it to the white supremacist group’s upcoming meeting, leaving the station before the police chief had a chance to ask how he knew the scheduled time.'
Imagine a black cop trying to join a White supremacist group...
Heyyy I wanted satire news not real news
Good craft service?
Have your kkkake and eat it too
Hey it's honest work
Oh my! They took of their KKK garb and Swastika bands just for the photo!
LOL
I thought you were a satire site?
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Source: Forbes - 🏆 394. / 53 Read more »
Source: YahooNews - 🏆 380. / 59 Read more »
Source: NYMag - 🏆 111. / 63 Read more »
Source: NBCNews - 🏆 10. / 86 Read more »
Source: NPR - 🏆 96. / 63 Read more »
Source: MSNBC - 🏆 469. / 51 Read more »