Every Coffee-Shop Writer Had a Chance

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It’s hard to see someone else live out your dream …

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Riz Ahmed. Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images Well, everyone. It’s over. Riz Ahmed is married. In fact, he got married months ago. I knew I sensed a shift in the air; it feels good to finally know what it was. Rather than focus on his wife, the novelist Fatima Farheen Mirza — who is lovely, I’m sure — let’s review the circumstances of their chance meeting.

Ahmed and Mirza’s real-life meet-cute took place at a coffee shop. After revealing that he was secretly married in a podcast interview on Monday, Ahmed went on The Tonight Show on Wednesday and told Jimmy Fallon that he and his beloved both sat down at the same table in a café while he was in New York to film The Sound of Metal. Are you kidding me?

“We were both jostling over the same laptop plug points, like a very modern way of meeting,” he says. Well, that’s just adorable. I’m happy for them both, truly. I’m also happy for every coffee-shop writer in New York — nay, the world. This confirms that we have a chance. “We met so randomly,” Ahmed says of his now-wife, but as someone who has long believed in the fantasy of meeting a hot guy in a coffee shop, this doesn’t sound random to me at all. It sounds like a dream. How many hundreds of dollars have I spent on lattes and bagels waiting for this exact scenario to unfold? I shudder to think. Of course, I never imagined the hot guy I’d see over the brim of my cup would be Riz Ahmed, because, well, he’s Riz Ahmed.

My fellow coffee-shop writers, we still have a chance. The second New York City reopens indoor dining and we can jostle laptop plugs again safely, I wish you all happy loitering.

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