Business, Vol 49 Issue 12

Business, Vol 49 Issue 12

Epic Saga Of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers

Epic Saga Of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers

14.5.2019

Epic Saga Of Employee's Ineptitude Passed Down Through Generations Of Coworkers

PHOENIX—In a custom that is said to be as old as the digital marketing agency itself, staff members of Thorpe Media listened in rapt fixation Wednesday to an oration of the epic saga of Doug Plasky, a company account manager whose tales of legendary ineptitude have been handed down through generations of coworkers.

“Hark, dear friends, for this is not the story of any mere mortal employee, but one who meets nary a single proposal delivery deadline,” continued Idstein, “yet still earns more than $85,000 a year.”

Indeed, it is said that recounting the sprawling corpus of Plasky’s monumental blunders—from his fabled illiteracy of the company’s content management software, to his inability to assemble even the most basic invoice, to an infamously butchered presentation at a conference in Tucson in 2007—has sustained Thorpe employees through the bleakness of many a dark winter evening and over countless prolonged business trips.

In accordance with the sacred custom, generations of employees have added new and storied chapters to the saga of Plasky’s ineptitude over the years, with the epic growing longer and longer from sunrise to sunrise, season to season, and carelessly written sales contract to carelessly written sales contract.

“God, I can’t believe nobody’s had the balls to just fucking fire him already,” Meyers added.

Read more: The Onion
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