Office, Vol 49 Issue 34

Office, Vol 49 Issue 34

Employee Offering Suggestion At Meeting Slowly Grows Quieter And Quieter Until Eventually Squeaking ‘I Don’t Know’

Employee Offering Suggestion At Meeting Slowly Grows Quieter And Quieter Until Eventually Squeaking ‘I Don’t Know’

10/20/2021 4:30:00 PM

Employee Offering Suggestion At Meeting Slowly Grows Quieter And Quieter Until Eventually Squeaking ‘I Don’t Know’

PLANO, TX—While speaking up at a business strategy meeting earlier today, sources confirmed that Ceres Network Analytics assistant sales manager Jeffrey Horton, 49, offered a suggestion for the future of the company that steadily decreased in volume and intensity until he wrapped up his dwindling remarks with a…

Sources say Horton’s voice audibly changed volume and pitch with every second of his remarks until it was barely even present.PLANO, TX—While speaking up at a business strategy meeting earlier today, sources confirmed that Ceres Network Analytics assistant sales manager Jeffrey Horton, 49, offered a suggestion for the future of the company that steadily decreased in volume and intensity until he wrapped up his dwindling remarks with a squeaked "I don't know."

Covid-19 Vaccines or Infections: Which Carries the Stronger Immunity? Omar Seeks Action Over Far-Right Congresswoman's Islamophobic Remarks Steal His Style: How to Rock Harry Styles’ Pearl Necklaces, Funky Sweaters & More

Advertisement"The fact is, if we're going to stay competitive in the network solutions game, we need to expand into profitable, value-oriented markets sooner rather than later," said Horton, beginning his idea with an assurance and poise that reportedly gradually evaporated with each passing second as he continued speaking to the packed conference room. "Right now, our rivals are figuring out how to reach the same customers we rely on to draw consistent business, and we've got to outpace them or we'll be left behind."

"I feel like we can't afford to delay on this one," Horton added, his words already diminishing in volume and manifesting a slight trembling quality. "Right?"Though Horton initially appeared to have full command of the situation as he conveyed his informed, well-stated opinion to Ceres' top executives and decision-makers, according to onlookers, it was only a matter of moments before the mid-level manager began to waver, evidently losing confidence in the merit of his proposal and, moreover, in his ability to convey an opinion at all. headtopics.com

Specifically, sources confirmed that Horton's speech rapidly adopted a lilting, tentative quality, helped along by his growing self-consciousness, the stark, airless quality of the near-silent conference room, and the lack of any discernible interest or acknowledgement on the part of the meeting's other 12 attendees.

Read more: The Onion »

Jury finds Kyle Rittenhouse not guilty on all counts

A Wisconsin jury found Kyle Rittenhouse not guilty on all counts after the Illinois teenager shot and killed two men and wounded a third at a protest last year.

who drinks WATER OUT OF A GLASS?! WHO DOES THAT? eww wow we are water LOOK AT ME... who gets to wash all those glasses now? dixiecups The meeting was dragging and he was quietly becoming hangry the longer it went typical 'strategy' when Dave decides to be part of the Onion what's for lunch debate everyday ;)

Just going to personally attack me this morning huh Onion? Ok, I see how it is. It’s just best everyone stay quiet to get out sooner Twitter user slowly stops liking TheOnion tweets and eventually stops because they aren’t funny. Lmao that headline put a pit in my stomach Idk how anybody can be funny consistently. Hats off

Why We Lose Weight and Why We Don'tWhen it comes to weight loss, one size does not fit all. What we know about what works, and how people find the right plan for them:

Zendaya's Brow-Length Bangs Are Making Me Reach for the Hair ShearsWe can never know peace until her beauty-packed 'Dune' press tour is over.

The Great Resignation may lead companies to offer employees financial wellness benefitsFinancial wellness benefits can help those dealing with financial anxiety and can also benefit employers, including their recruitment efforts, experts say. acorns Just pay people more acorns I just want money, moolah, cold hard dollar bills. Also decent healthcare and benefits would be poggers. acorns More money please

BBC Hiring Row: Black Media Executive Marcus Ryder to Meet With Director General Tim Davie Following Alleged ‘Veto’ Over News JobInfluential Black media figure Marcus Ryder will take up BBC director general Tim Davies’ offer to meet for a private discussion over claims that the executive blocked Ryder’s appointme… There's no greater joy than having financial freedom and a life free debts 😊, that's why I keep posting a comment about Mr Dereck0111

11 Halloween Costumes You Can Do With Your Beauty ProductsThese 11 pop-culture Halloween costumes can be quickly created with beauty products alone you should see martha stewart latest creations she became halloween she can be displayed anywhere martha stewart became the holiday check out her creations

Help! My Ex Is Insisting on an Embarrassing Name for Our Child Out of “Tradition.”DearPrudie: My ex says it’s only fair if he gets to choose the first or last name.