Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

TULSA, OK—Comforting the worried couple that the common problem would likely work itself out on its own, Hillcrest Hospital ER staff assured parents Dave and Hilary Melford Tuesday that the Burger King Chicken Fries their son swallowed would likely pass naturally through his system.

Terrance Rush, stressing that medical intervention would likely be entirely unnecessary to remove the Chicken Fries from their son’s stomach. “Of course, the best course of action would have been to immediately induce vomiting, but the good news is I expect Jason will make a full recovery in as little as a week. Unfortunately, the trace amounts of Zesty Sauce in his system could be there for years to come.

This isn’t that far from average complaints that people take their kids to the ER for

A milkshake should clean him out, but don't bother with toilet paper, you'll need a couple rolls of paper towels and a hose.

Fuck that got me lmao

Have no fear, ashleestabes

L

Tbh you lot should make a real looking satire news twitter mostly everyone knows who the onion is. Mostly so I can scare the fuck out of my mates when you post something satire about war

'You have to understand that you're in for a long, arduous process. Your son is going to have to fight. His anus will burn. He will have trials. Hemorrhoids for sure. But he will get through this. Maybe not the same boy, but still your son.'

Then the mom has to tell them, 'he didn't eat them... naturally though'.

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Or….WILL IT?

You joke, but there are people.

I'd get a second opinion. Surely he should wash it down with some bleach or something.

Oh they will pass. Just don’t ask about all the damage they will do along the way.

Also, future bowel movements will cease having BK logo on them in approximately six months.

Burger King is down bad

I ate chicken fries once, there is nothing 'natural' about how they come out.

what about the lasting damage? what did they say about that?

Plenty for defaming Burger King is also an emergency situation.

GOVEGANFORTHEANIMALS

I went to burger king 2 weeks ago and they didn't have any chicken fries. maybe that's a good thing?

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