Elon Musk Unveils New Clean Energy Luxury Car Pulled By 8 Tesla Employees

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PALO ALTO, CA—Touting the release as an unmatched innovation in green technology, Elon Musk held a press event Wednesday to unveil Tesla’s new clean energy automobile, a sleek midsize luxury sedan pulled by eight Tesla employees. “I’m excited to stand before you today and announce the &8, Tesla’s latest great advance in our ongoing journey towards completely environmentally responsible transportation—this new vehicle, with its multi-redundant, human-focused propulsion system, is even more efficient than electric models, and I’m proud to say it was born and bred right here in America using a 100 percent renewable, 99 percent biodegradable power source with forest-friendly emissions,” said Musk, who demonstrated the machine’s octuply-redundant voice-activated navitainment system, which, like the powertrain, fully supports tethering, adaptable all-surface cartilaginous shock absorbers, and “torture mode” overdrive, in which seven subsidiary drive units are slaved directly to a controlling “master motivator.” Tesla also claims that the new continuously variable transmission runs in complete silence, though press drivers noted some light huffing, puffing, and occasional moaning during highway tests. “The &8 will completely change the way Americans view clean energy vehicles. As usual, the purchase price will include the ability to easily recharge the power plant at any Applebee’s, but this is an extremely hardy, fuel-efficient—in many ways, self-sufficient—and ecologically aware vehicle. Customers can even visit the Tesla headquarters to select the exact parts that work best for them, from optional vegetable-fueled drive units to self-healing, scratch-resistant bodies in their choice of colors.” Musk also teased the upcoming announcement of a new HyperLoop high-speed rail locomotive using a much larger version of the &8’s core system.

PALO ALTO, CA—Touting the release as an unmatched innovation in green technology, Elon Musk held a press event Wednesday to unveil Tesla’s new clean energy automobile, a sleek midsize luxury sedan pulled by eight Tesla employees.

“I’m excited to stand before you today and announce the &8, Tesla’s latest great advance in our ongoing journey towards completely environmentally responsible transportation—this new vehicle, with its multi-redundant, human-focused propulsion system, is even more efficient than electric models, and I’m proud to say it was born and bred right here in America using a 100 percent renewable, 99 percent biodegradable power source with forest-friendly emissions,” said Musk, who demonstrated the...

 

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saifedean elonmusk Let's turn Bolivia to Mars!😱

elonmusk Lol the efficiency

saifedean elonmusk Humans emit A LOT OF CO2 when using their body though, maybe we can have a global movement forcing people to lock themselves up in their houses and sit on the couch all day to save the environment…

elonmusk They still exhale carbon dioxide so it's not an ideal solution.

saifedean elonmusk Better to use fanbois, no need to pay them.

saifedean elonmusk How are the people fed What they eat is sustainable What about the clothes China

cannabis_heart elonmusk 🤣😂😉

elonmusk It's a 7 PP (people power) instead of 700HP car... nice...

elonmusk steven_wheat

elonmusk inversebrah

elonmusk Seriously grow up

elonmusk Should have included the 25 underaged kids mining the rare earth minerals for the battery on the background.

elonmusk Only 8hp..! (humans power)

elonmusk More like interns.

elonmusk Sounds about right

elonmusk Group not diverse enough.

elonmusk Hey Elon Musk, Bull cart is most energy efficient car 🚗. We are still using it in India.

elonmusk volunteer owners probably

elonmusk You just made my day with this one 👏

elonmusk Only let them eat sustainable food, no soja, no palm oil, no meat.... We dont want those Teslas to be run on unsustainable ressources!

elonmusk The CO2 and methane production, though.....

elonmusk Do the employees consume coal?

elonmusk Doge4Tesla

fanfare100 elonmusk

grabitweet elonmusk Disappointed it’s not being pulled by shiba inu.

elonmusk

elonmusk 8 hp

BitcoinandTacos elonmusk 🤣

elonmusk Fully autonomous, All-terrain, Homunculus Drive. FAHD

elonmusk Now do it, but with SpaceX rockets.

elonmusk elonmusk Tesla Thanks for your endorsement Elon …

elonmusk Should be 'pulled by 16 starving african chilren cobalt miners' they are the real victims

elonmusk explains his breakup with BTC

maxkeiser elonmusk Dodgy musk

maxkeiser elonmusk Tiene lógica a lo que quiere llegar Elon con su energía limpia

maxkeiser elonmusk Space Karen

elonmusk 4 doge giveaway, distributed to 4 person _follow me _like this comment -retweet And then reply to this comment done THE winners will be in 2days

elonmusk 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

elonmusk might I suggest-

elonmusk 😂

elonmusk That's funny. I wonder what an (8hp) eight human powered car would expel in CO2 and worse, how much methane would be squeezed from their tailpipes?

elonmusk Are they vegan? If not, I’m not buying it.

askthedr elonmusk I hope they are pulling it into the trash lol

elonmusk Do the employees come with their own bottles? Asking for a friend.

elonmusk Do one about Biden paying Ransom in crypto to Russian hackers

elonmusk 💀💀💀💀

elonmusk I honestly wouldn’t be surprised by this. -_-

elonmusk Just make the interns do it.

elonmusk Real rocket scientist unveils new ultra premium super clean energy mega luxury car pulled by 1 tesla employee engineered to neccessary output.

elonmusk Too cool! Mamas idea of a ride! Xoxoxo from grannies in southern Ontario.

elonmusk Some of these people live in houses powered by coal, so this is not “clean luxury”.

elonmusk How do you activate the Insane Mode, hitch up Q Trumpsters?

elonmusk

elonmusk Those employees fart like cows, not good for the environment 🧐

elonmusk That carbon footprint is still too high! I think and army of gerbils would be much greener

elonmusk Somehow it still catches fire when it crashes

How many seconds till 100km/h?

elonmusk Note* short range

elonmusk Does it come with the option for them to push instead? You know for the Tesla owners who don’t want to see poor people often.

elonmusk That would pollute even more.

TESLAcharts elonmusk Wait until Elon hears about carbon footprint of people...

elonmusk Elon about to double down on praising the Babylon 🐝

elonmusk *'Tesla Gig Workers' and it would be perfect

elonmusk *still* caught on fire

elonmusk Also for tunnels.

elonmusk You're thinking of Nikola NKLA

elonmusk Just a reminder for some haters

elonmusk But who cleans the poop

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