Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse Echo on for Generations

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Child sexual abuse is not the survivor’s problem to resolve. It is our problem, as a society. It’s time to tackle it as a public health problem that costs lives.

As the Kouchner and Farrow reports reveal, sexual abuse by parents has long-term traumatizing effects upon the entire family. The abuse, lies, manipulation and enforced silence deeply hurt the abused, their siblings and other family members long after the physical abuse has ceased. That was the case in my family. I learned about a fragment of my mom’s life a day or two after her death. “I have to tell you something,” my aunt said, echoing my mom’s words two weeks earlier.

An account retold in minutes transformed my understanding of my mom’s life. I now see how these scary, grotesque events haunted her life, confused her and hurt her as an adult.It showed up in her admonitions that I always wear a slip. Before my college graduation, she reprimanded me: “Don’t sit like that—especially around your father!” I was wearing a beautiful full skirt—the kind you can twirl in—of Indian fabric, pinks and oranges with gold threads running through. It nearly hit my ankles.

Only when she died at almost 80 and I learned her story did I understand that moment: She was suddenly hit with panic that I, her daughter, could be endangered by my father, just as she had been by hers. She was frightened, internally traumatized and acted fast to protect me. Her effort at protection—for herself and her daughter—translated into rules about the proper way to sit, walk, dress.

Yet child sexual abuse is not the survivor’s problem to resolve. It is our problem, as a society. It’s time to tackle it as a public health problem that costs lives. When the pandemic shutdown forced everyone into domestic spaces, rates of child sexual abuse

 

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