MEHOOPANY, PA—In a move raising serious doubts about the toilet paper giant’s core allegiances, the Charmin Twitter account remained eerily silent Friday in an apparent show of support for pro-Trump rioters who stormed the U.S. Capitol b
uilding. “While most Americans were expressing their shock and dismay about this brazen assault on our democracy, we heard nothing but deafening silence from one of the major names in ultra-soft toilet paper,” said consumer advocate Heather Winters, expressing disbelief at Charmin’s failure to issue an immediate statement on one of the most unsettling acts of insurrection in the nation’s history.
right behind him with their quiet complicity. There’s no such thing as neutrality in a matter of this gravity. Blood is on their hands.” At press time, thousands of Twitter users had urged Jack Dorsey to permanently remove the brand’s account after speculation that rioters had intentionally dressed in fur to resemble Leonard the Charmin Bear.
You just know Whipple would’ve been there if Hillary didn’t have him killed.
The Charmin bears will be wiping their asses with the Constitution next. Sad day for our democracy.
They could learn a lot from Old Spice.
Has Mr. Whipple stopped beating his wife?
You have to think about it for a second, but very funny! January6th satire
Enjoy the Attack™️
Related: Charmin Ad Team Suspiciously Ignores Obvious 'Wipe Out Insurrection' Campaign Winner
Hey Onion, back off on the ass-wipe bears!
12=24 also.
There are some very fine patterns on both sides of the toilet paper.
He agrees.
“Please don't seize the Charmin”
Charmin is soft on insurrections!
Now my clean poop hole feels like treason.
Charmin uses virgin boreal wood from temperate rainforests in Canada (the fastest disappearing biome in the word) for their tp. Use seventh generation, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, who gives a crap, or other post consumer recycled tp please
From the Dinty Moore Beef Stew folder ;)
😂🤣
Mr. Whipple is rolling in his grave
Where are you Charmin ? There is literal shit at the capital.
Companies are awaiting their new lead from that MyPillowUSA guy... LOL
That’s just weird.
Well I guess I’m going through life with shit caked on my ass from now on. Is that what you want, Charmin?!
Onion makes Satiral Articles. Do they really Condemn Yesterday's Storming?
Makes sense. With other companies rebranding to be more inclusive and diverse; Charmin keeps producing the same white brand.
Blackmail ain't satire
Charmin ‘Enjoy the Go!’ (to jail)
Soft on sedition 😑😑😑
This mf bear
Twelve days, Onion. In twelve days, you're going back to satire, right?
When you realize they have Bear Mascots because of the saying, 'Does a bear shit in the woods?'.
But it’s so soft and fluffy
I heard that feces was smeared inside the Capitol Building. You'd think there would be some outrage. It's 2021... wiping exists.
That f*ckin complicit bear family
Asswipes
'Complicit' is the word
Those fuckin' bears always seemed too nice to be believable. SO SAD! /sarcasm
Maybe Charmin is standing behind Trump and his magats so they can do what Charmin does best: clean up shit
It's always the ones you least suspect.
I'm gonna use Axe Body Spray in lieu of wiping. Thank u!!
RIGHT!!!!!? CancelCharmin
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Should be locked permanently. The left did the same thing when Trump got in. They protested the streets and destroyed shit. I'm opposed to the riots, but this is history repeating itself.
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