DNC To Streamline Fundraising By Cutting Out Unnecessary Cost Of Campaigns, Candidates

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WASHINGTON—In a letter to top donors explaining how their contributions would now be spent more efficiently than ever, the Democratic National Committee announced plans Tuesday to streamline its fundraising by completely eliminating the unnecessary costs of campaigns and candidates. “We’re confident that once our party is freed from the burden of putting forth nominees and running expensive campaigns, we’ll finally be able to focus all our efforts on generating as much revenue as possible,” wrote DNC chairman Tom Perez, adding that he hoped an upcoming series of fundraisers to which the letter’s recipients were invited would help pay for even bigger fundraisers down the line. “So just go online, make your donation, and we’ll take it from there. Whether you’re able to give $5 a month or cut us a check for the annual maximum of $35,500, we promise to take that money and put it toward making even more money. We’re confident that with no candidates or platforms to disagree on, Democrats of every stripe will unite to give us the financial support we’ve always wanted. Together, we can do this.” At press time, reports confirmed Perez was threatening to disburse all cash on hand to President Trump’s reelection campaign if donors failed to reach the DNC’s spring fundraising goal.

 

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Amanst3r Love all the butthurt Real Dems in this thread.

Is this related to your plan to save money by only writing one article?

I’m old enough to remember when you guys used to try.

You guys used to be funny 15 years ago.

Bring back the good writers.

Still committed to not knowing what the DNC is I see.

They better NOT! Even less humor in2020 is a very bad thing.

Was this written in 2016? There were like 20 major candidates running this year on the debate stage.

There were 25 candidates in this past primary. Did u guys run a headline from 2016 accidentally? If ur gonna be Qanon boomers then shouldn't the conspiracy theory at least be 2020-specific?

sounds like a plan. go tom.

&give democracy back to the ppl.

This is the same strategy the DNC used in 2016 - 'The polls say we got this in the bag!'

I knew the interwebs would change everything when Al Gore invented it. I just didn't know that it would make the Onion into a source for real news.

I actually talked about this the other day!! is becoming truer and truer!!

LOL So vote for your fav corporation to rule the nation?

foot on necks

Could save a ton of money just by buying a huge pack of American cheese slices and having each slice run for election individually. Still preferable to GOP candidates.

And Voters.

Bern Bros still upset over inconveniences such as you actually have to win elections rather than just yelling at everyone and crying about stuff being rigged against you

Hmmmm........the sounds of silent Socialism.

~they’ve never polled better than they are doing now, now that the strategy is to bunker in the basement.

Unless Bernie's in the mix, then no expense is spared to ensure that he doesn't make it past the primary.

well, there's this whole viral pandemic thing going on, but funny ha ha. now do republicans.

ThisIsAmerica US Bakery Refuses To Serve Muslim Woman In Niqab For Not Wearing 'Mask' StopIslamophobia stophating

Wait but this is true

Becca2400

50linesonly Not Onion.

Tom Perez is a disaster. Get rid of him.

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