Deutsche Bank Begins Removing Possessions From White House After Trump Defaults On Loan

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WASHINGTON—As the inconsolable president stood outside in his threadbare robe in the early hours of Wednesday morning, employees sent by Deutsche Bank began removing possessions from the White House after Donald Trump defaulted on his loans, sources confirmed. “Come on, guys, just give me a couple more weeks and I can get the money together—no, not the TV!” said the tear-stricken commander in chief as repossession officers from the German bank carried items including the Resolute Desk, a portrait of Andrew Jackson, and his golf clubs out of the White House, informing him that the bank could no longer wait for him to pay back millions of dollars of debt. “Not the china, that was Reagan’s! Please, you guys know I’m good for it. I have the funds, you have to believe me, I’ve got them tied up in other things. I just have to move some money around. Wait, that’s my favorite chair! If my wife gets home and sees that her beautiful clothes and the Winston Churchill bust are gone, she’s gonna kill me! I’ll get the money—please don’t leave me with nothing.” At press time, the sobbing president was standing barefoot in the empty Oval Office after the Deutsche Bank employees had removed the slippers from his feet.

 

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Hey that's mine he is such a disgrace

Solid work

MrYesWeCan Oh yes, as Sally said to Harry, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

It's gone be alright Trump 😇

👏👏

Okay, I’ll pay up! Do you guys accept rubles?

Haha

Things Happen!

The first clear shot of Donnie's toupé.

This is funny but we do know this is a laugh only? 😂😂😂

And this ⬆️ is Not Fake News! 😁

Sad!

Nice touch with hole in the bath robe

Not the TV o sh*** how do i watch TV know🤣

Trump family about to be living the plot of schitts creek

🤣🤣

The small tear in the coat is such a nice touch

Today.

nomiprins Deutsche Bankruptcy...

This is probably actually true

nomiprins Made me smile 😊 🙏

cdashiell Love the onion

For the well being any targeted country, is it not, historically speaking, vital that leaders and co-conspirators of a failed armed insurrection are locked up and dealt with thoroughly, swiftly and severely?

I wonder if he owns a small town with a motel? SchittsCreek

Don't touch my porn collection!

Suddenly, Trump loves him some eviction bans ...

Trump will make America pay Trump family debt⚠

Lol

He just sold Alaska including Sara Palin to Russia!

🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂

lawindsor Please check on this disturbing news that Trump is taking US property? Here is a photo today (1/14) of the Lincoln Bust. Stop the Steal!

No seriously, what's up with keepsakes? Who is trumps new Bank?

I love the onion, but the made me sad. Trunk defaulted. We didn’t.

So, THAT'S what is going on there rn. Thought it was some yard sale.

😭😂🤣

*Trump Voice* Coulda been a contenda... Coulda been a contenda... MELANIA!?! Yo Melania?!!

Personal guarantees suck

Literally today

I mean they can have the Jackson poster, actually.

Not the portrait of Andrew Jackson! I’ll sell you the state of Georgia!

This stuff will look good in Frankfurt ... 😂

And here’s me: assuming The Onion was just a satirical site... Have I being dumb or what 🤦‍♂️

Not far from the truth...

Might as well at this point.

Hope they take the entire White House

But he’s a billionaire

Hide the silverware.

🤣

Unlikely if you have billions of loose change.

This is false news by the Democratic Party

Oh no! Not the Andrew Jackson!

Has sleepy joe woke up yet?

submergingmkt 😬

Trump is a billionaire, this joke bombed

He hocked the resolute desk?

Which default? He has numerous ones fron “douche” bank.

Fake news!!

The Onion is funny. The people who believe it are Hilarious!

😂😂😂

Why does this remind me of the Far Side type humor?

Ya meant putting a lean on Mar-a-lago soon to be renamed: Meer-zum-See.

They need to confiscate the $70,000.00 weave on his head!

ha, not even happening here in argentina !thats only for your imagination

He can stay at the Rose Hotel in Schitt’s Creek.

Please don’t take the Obama portrait being stored in the closet!

Just to add a little perspective, $300,000,000 is 23,700,000,000 in Russian Rubles.

That rip in the stained bathrobe is

😂😂 this really what celebrities and liberal minds expected to happen after the taxes got released.

Not the portrait of Andrew Jackson too! 😢

Deutsch Bank? Surprised it's not Sberbank of Russia foreclosing on him.

this implies Trump i still in office in 2021 😢

every sycophant to power has a spare few thousand for him and a warm mouth to put his tiny little mushroom. He'll never be destitute; he'll live out the rest of his life as either a dictator or a cult leader, and it will be done lavishly

Needed one of these.

Ironically, the movers were from that gig-job eviction outfit, Civvl.

Wow! You should work at Burger King because that statement is a whopper lie!

Not the left handed golf clubs!

Leonorcita2 Wait a second I thought it was Russia Russia Russia or was it KKK Leader KKK Leader....now Bankruptcy Bankruptcy...hell I can't keep up with the spin

Wishful thinking!!!!

The furniture belongs to the citizens. Just remove the occupants.

BTW, all items in the People's House are on a Loan, OMG! another Loan!

Excuse me, this man is only a tenant in the People's House. Nothing in that house belongs to him, except his slippers as you said. He can be evicted with the clothes he wears at the time, all items that had been in the WH for centuries remain for the next one to enjoy.

Just keep an eye on the art collection.....

On the next episode of Storage Wars...

lol

Fake

🤣

love the coat

no sign of satire or photoshop

They're suckers for continually giving him money.

Nice touch on the moth eaten fur

haha second

Trump don't care. that's not his shit!

wow you are only helping biden win by posting this

Well that’s a shame.

THE COAT OH MY GOD 💀💀💀💀

Anyone believe this isn't photoshopped? Haha!

😂😂

TheTaijiNews This is bull. Trump own other things to take. He doesn’t own the White House.

His favorite picture!

Mfjean0213 I wish

lilsister7 This 'ENTIRE 'adminisration' belongs in 'the onion''

That’s what’s so STUPID!!! When Dems media tear down our President & WH They’re LITERALLY TEARINGdownAMERICA & they’re happyAboutIt FoxNews greggutfeld TheFive WhiteHouse RealJamesWoods Did entireleft become antifa Sounds like domesticTerrorism😡marklevinshow

Repossessing the resolute desk

That’s nice 15 hours before Kushner/Trump scoop NYTimes duetsche Bank 🏦 GOP foxnews

Then sells Alaska back to the Russians for less than the original $7m purchase price.

Sounds like an actual true headline. 🙂

At long last someone holds Donald the deadbeat in chief accountable!

Don't forget the Saudi's swords.

Oh man! I hope they auction them off soon! Can’t wait to add to my collection. White House memorabilia goes right next to my 80’s action figures on the shelf.

Ha, ha, ha, ha . . .

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Well, DB (aka. The Onion) got the wrong address. Try the Trump Tower NY. NY. for your 'humor.'

Love The Onion!

This seems like one of those stories that could actually come true.

Love the sleazy, threadbare robe.

Better foreclose on the White House, too.

“Come on, guys, just give me a couple more weeks and I can get the money together—no, not the TV!” I love you. 🤣🤣🤣

Let them take him out of white house instead of the possessions.

eh? the furniture aren't his, try the tower.

DonaldTrump 'Throw all the stuff in the back of the car and just drive it around the country until I let you know it's safe to bring it back'

Mexico was supposed to be paying for it

Hey . I think that they cannot do that. It’s Federal Property. Not own by Trump. You can Arrest them for Stealing Federal Property.

You better step up your game fast, The Onion. TheBabylonBee has passed you.

'You can leave the gold plated Confederate flag, that's Obama's'

Donde es Pablo y Taco? Mucho trabajo por mi hermanos. Yo Homes, those gringo's aren't movers!

Has The Onion gone legit Another one that actually could happen.

Then promptly returns tacky assed self portraits because they have no value.

They take everything but the hair.

'Look, you can take Eric, but just leave everything else, alright?'

When is the auction?

Deutsche Bank is about a million times more likely to be defaulting on loans than Trump.

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