Desperate Mom Okays Male Babysitter

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HARTFORD, CT—Unable to secure the services of any of the young women who normally watch her 4-year-old son when she goes out for the evening, desperate local mother Rebecca Lowenstein confirmed Wednesday night that she had resorted to hiring a male babysitter. “Normally I wouldn’t do something like this, but I really need tonight off,” said Lowenstein, adding that while this was her first time hiring a male sitter, other people must surely do it all the time. “It’s not ideal, but this guy sounded polite enough on the phone, and I know he babysat for my friend Sheila once. Besides, my neighbor offered to stop by and check in on them later, so everything should be fine…right?” When it came time for her to go, Lowenstein was seen giving her son an unusually long hug, taking a deep breath, and then walking out the door.

 

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Big mistake.

According to the N.A.M.B.L.A web site the odds of a male babysitter molesting a little boy is what....one out of one.

Just give him a helmet cam with wifi connection and watch from your phone. You can watch the same show he is watching.

Oh lawd, no she didn't!

We really should stop the archaic practice of sitting on babies. It’s a bit excessive.

Oh no, Sarah...

so after he puts the kids to bed he can put mom to bed

In other news, child predator okays babysitting.

it will be fine. he'll get the kiddo to bed, fix something to eat, try on some of her underwear, watch tv. the usual.

The man may be background checked, cleared and really a good person.

I know it’s The Onion, but this hypothetical mom must be really F’ng desperate

Desperate Mom Okays sex with Male Babysitter Brazzers

Liam Neeson was this kid's father.

Hot girl

As long as its not JoeBiden or an MS-13 Democrat...it’ll probably be fine

Sounds like the beginning of most Lifetime movies.

Oh...this is going to piss so many people off. Thank you.

that's mom's 'getting some' salmon special dress

This is dark

That’s sexist! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Fuck that

Rude

How dare she break the laws of reality!

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