Onion Gamers Network, Death Stranding, Playstation, Video Games, Vol 55 Issue 49, Onion Gamers Network

Onion Gamers Network, Death Stranding

Deal Alert: Guy With Nice Suit Probably Carrying Enough On Him Right Now To Buy ‘Death Stranding’ PS4 Pro Bundle If You Stick Him Up

Deal Alert: Guy With Nice Suit Probably Carrying Enough On Him Right Now To Buy ‘Death Stranding’ PS4 Pro Bundle If You Stick Him Up

2.12.2019

Deal Alert: Guy With Nice Suit Probably Carrying Enough On Him Right Now To Buy ‘ Death Stranding ’ PS4 Pro Bundle If You Stick Him Up

Attention gamers! Here’s a deal that’s just too good to pass up. This guy with a nice suit passing 35th and Claremont Ave. is probably carrying enough on him right now to buy the Death Stranding PS4 Pro bundle if you stick him up.

Move fast on this, though. This isn’t a deal you want to miss.

-themed Dualshock 4 wireless controller, normally retails for $399.99. But for a limited time, you’ll be able to have it for what this rich-looking dude probably carries on him in cash every day if you just swing around a tire iron and maybe make him fear for his life a little.

As an added bonus, even if he’s short on cash right now, it looks like he’s wearing a fancy-enough watch that you could yell at him to peel it off his wrist and get most of the way towards a bundle by pawning that alone! That’s one of the year’s hottest releases and the most technically powerful PlayStation system ever, and all you have to do is corner him in an alleyway and tell him you don’t care about his life until he starts whimpering.

Read more: The Onion

Good, I'll be able to throw the piss controller at him in lieu of actually pissing on him. This isn’t funny. Pretty shitty really. Nah, he looks like he's been beating the pavement looking for a job and the briefcase only has resumes, nicotine gum and cheetos in it. Now I just need to find someone carrying enough to buy a PS4.

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