Police, Vol 55 Issue 41

Police, Vol 55 Issue 41

Dallas Cops Plant Black Suspect At Murder Scene

Dallas Cops Plant Black Suspect At Murder Scene


Dallas Cops Plant Black Suspect At Murder Scene

DALLAS—Following what they described as standard procedure for homicide investigations, members of the Dallas Police Department planted a black suspect at a suspicious murder scene in their city, sources confirmed Wednesday. “You never know when you’re going to need a young African American male to pin a crime on, so we always make sure to have a few on hand in case we need to divert attention from a more obvious suspect,” said Officer Lee Durham, turning off his body camera and signaling to his partner, who retrieved a 21-year-old black man from their cruiser, wiped him down to remove any prints, and positioned him at the scene before the camera was turned back on. “They certainly do come in handy. It doesn’t even matter if they have a weapon on them. As long as there’s a minor violation or two on his record, everyone will agree he was probably up to something, and then you’re all set…Okay, that looks good. Hey, guys, look what we just found!” At press time, a statement from Dallas police confirmed a cursory search of the suspect’s apartment had uncovered a stash of three other black people, making this an open-and-shut case.

Read more: The Onion

ScottGreenfield Who needs a plant when the homicide rate is 8-10 times higher than for rest of pop? Kinda makes the joke fizzle. Guess that's why TheBabylonBee is so much better. DavidaBWilliams ? Is this true DonutOperator Always so real. Crazy. I always said Trump was gonna make it hard on The Onion and House of Cards

The Blue Wall of Horticulture, ladies and gents. 😂😂😂😂😂 Its sad that i can't tell if this is fake or real. Goddamn, Onion!!! Complexchick would be funny if not true... Yeah, that seems like something they'd do here

Judge says she couldn't refuse giving convicted former Dallas cop a hugJudge Tammy Kemp explains why she hugged ex-police officer Amber Guyger at the end of her trial for the 2018 killing of her neighbor Botham Jean. Its to Easy for people to Kill Wonder if she hugs all convicted murderers? That former police officer was a self admitted racist. She got preferential treatment because she was a cop....

U know what... Wait i thought you were satire? The Onion is a part of the resistance! AnotherDOA You see this is why we now wish we had let my nephew join the army. He is living in Texas and will be 21 tomorrow. It comes to something when you feel a child will be safer fighting a war than living in America

The fact that even y'all are making note of this(satirical or not) shows just how fishy this looks, smells, and swims. Too close to the bone usb_dongle The Onion is the hero America deserves Then gave them a hug, piece of gum, and Bible after trial. Too real.

Joshua Brown: Suspects sought in fatal shooting of witness in Dallas cop trialHighly questionable. We have many documented cases of police planting evidence. Very difficult to believe they found drugs in Joshua Brown’s apartment that they didn’t plant there themselves. Wait ... ppl said it was dirty cops & not drug dealers 🙄 Killed as a result of a drug deal gone bad. Nothing to do with the trial.

DoctorYasmin I forgot that there are actual articles to read for the Headlines For a solid thirty seconds I didn’t see this was an Onion article and just thought “yeah that sounds like something that this hellworld would cough up.” ' a cursory search of the suspect’s apartment had uncovered a stash of three other black people, making this an open-and-shut case.'😂😭

DallasPD 😂 It's funny, but... I once saw the police plant a whole murder scene at a black suspect. Absolutely nothing funny in this article Wow, that's too close to the truth He ain't heavy, he's a brother.

There's No Evidence to Suggest Dallas Police Murdered Joshua Brown, and It's Irresponsible to Suggest OtherwiseThere is no evidence to suggest Dallas Police murdered Joshua Brown, and it's irresponsible to suggest otherwise bullshit Evidence? We only need a platform. Just look and listen to the president. He says anything he wants and his party refuses to check him. So welcome to your world.

def a white guy, and I know that by the shirt, not just the hand. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 DonutOperator debunk this very real story from and incredibly credible source. Good on ya, Onion! 😂😂🤣🤣🤣 That's next level shit cstross Um you're supposed to do fake news Somehow, I wouldn't put it past them... These comments are mega yikes

y’all stopped playing around I see AnaMardoll I know you're taking *it for stepping up your game Onion but 'when the goin gets weird' 😉👍👍😎

Police: 3 suspected of killing witness at Dallas cop's trialThree Louisiana men are wanted in the killing of a witness who testified at the murder trial of a former Dallas police officer, authorities said Tuesday, cautioning that the killing had nothing at all to do with that trial and case. Police said Michael Mitchell is the uncle of Jacquerious Mitchell and Sounds shady and until more info comes out I still lean towards he was murdered for speaking out Hmm. Does that mean because he was selling drugs that he is no longer a creditable witness and now she will walk? Interesting. the officer has the last laugh

lilniscienceguy Bruh .. we are getting self aware in this simulation we call life. Uh . . . Hmm . . . What? Just saying ... America's Finest news source for a reason. MatthewACherry whew, child! 🤣🤣 totally see that happening tho yup. Misspelled 'Super Predator' HillaryClinton

Police: 3 suspected of killing witness at Dallas cop's trialDALLAS (AP) — Three Louisiana men are wanted in the killing of a witness who testified at the murder trial of a former Dallas police officer, authorities said Tuesday, cautioning that the killing... DallasPD also tried to make Botham Jean out to be a druggie who deserved to be gunned down in his home. Excuse me if I don’t put much faith in anything they say. Doesn’t add up. Do the media believe we’re stupid? This is exactly like the Epstein situation. Nobody believes you.

Thought u guys did satire, not news Did the run out of illegal immigrants to frame? Dark times when the Onions satire is more accurate than what’s being reported in the real news Starting to think the onion is the lost reliable news source we have Not Even The onion. Just the apple. Real truth telling shit

'too soon' laylahfunk 😳

Judge Tammy Kemp: 'I could not refuse' ex-Dallas cop Amber Guyger a hug after sentencingJudge Tammy Kemp, who hugged and gave Amber Guyger a Bible after she was sentenced to prison, said her actions were appropriate. The law is lawful,humans have sympathy and are sympathetic.

We live in a clownworld beyond parody yet the Onion is better than ever. That man is white though

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