Oof
They figure because of gerrymandering our votes don’t count so let ‘em clean out congress their own way.
You mean like the time they 'lost control' of a bunch of rioting and looting black supremacists?
I think you mean DC police aren’t available to guide tourists in tactical combat attire through restricted government buildings because they’re dealing with possible Antifa roadblock threat...
They need to take a note from the Boston police and leave jaywalkers alone and deal with protests effectively. Don't take the racism part tho, but that seems to be a problem every police department has anyways
Honestly, it's impossible to tell satire from real life right now. You know this is entirely too believable.
Spot on!
BLM burns shit ANTIFA beats people Never forget January 6
hypocritical
Lol
Ouch.
You mean black looting, arson and gangland murder.
Truth.
🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 SAVAGE!
Related: Taser/Gun/Strangulation Killing Of Black Jay Walker By Police Called Tragic Accident
😆👍
This is such important comedy
I thought this site was satirical
Is this real or fake
Totally believable
This def happened at some point
Holy crap😂
This tweet is regrettably still relevant.
Fabregasto
Accurate.
stanley33y0 Lol
picbykap2 How can one confirm this is true or propaganda? It's possible but who knows anymore.
robdelaney Hahaha
spiritswest Not funny fatty.
PatTheBerner Shitty part? Fucking believable.
cheeseyqueso I’m wheezing 😂
jmcgarrah2
Did yall run out of jokes and pull a race card. Lmao.
itscheshi When did you guys start reporting real news?! That’s disappointing 🤣☠️
MurphyYuiko
ambrown This is a joke? Right.
yr_malpar
Funny how onion has remained oddly quiet over Seattle and portland, yet is all up on its hind legs when the other side growls a little. Oh and the police did shoot someone but as they were white it aint getting traction with the onion
benwikler I think it meant to say called away to beat and kill a black person.
Are you freaking kidding me?
drbarnard They didn’t loose control. They were part of the act.
Hey buddy,this is the Onion 🧅 It’s meant to be absurdly funny. Lighten up
BeautyAbounds4U There has to be “CONTROL”, to “LOSE” it! So I say: Let’s STOP the BS.
bchisum76 Unfortunately, satire is dead, Trump killed it...
Is it satire if it’s completely feasible that this is a legitimate story?
PatTheBerner This just in the black jaywalker was shot 32 times by 7 officers. He was blind with a walking stick officers said he had a weapon. That’s more realistic.
HarryRBurger Once again, the Onion publishes THE TRUTH.
garfxist Jesus
True!
MirMAKOfficial Let's focus on our own house. Hint: dharna in Karachi.
HalfLuckyRed
ItisIWOOSH WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SATIRE AT?!?!?
anarcanon I fucking love you
94960Art Satire is now real life. 🤪
chadloder 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ha!!!
I would like to report my murder
Scvmjvnker
rodriguez_linda Best onion tweet ever
rob_sheridan I mean
Ouch
Accurate Reporting Thank You Onion 🧅
I love you guys.. i cant think of anyone hitting the spot s you do.
NotTheOnion LiterallyTheOnion
acarboni The Onion can always be counted on to cover the stories of our time:
ExtremeRickman Oof.
God damn, Onion
eamonnwarner You're too good at this.
caitoz Unarmed black jaywalker.
Onion rn
BigIfTruman y'all quick
USA was exporting democracy to countries like Afghanistan, Iraq but now Americans need to import some democracy back
Not everyone knows that The Onion publishes satire. Cool it. Don't risk fanning the flames of this conflagration.
Goldfingas Wait. Since when did the Onion actually cover real stories? :P
As a black jaywalker I find this offensive.
Fix Your Headline TERRORISTS. INSURRECTIONISTS. RIOTERS.
[snicker]
PearlThusi Follow TexusPro
Good. Arrest that j walkin mf!
Chinchillazllla Sadly true
meJVT Funnier line would be “while hundreds of officers are protecting BLM graffiti across the district”.
I don't think this is the best time to make this tweet
That’s about it eh?
🔥👏
I thought the onion was supposed to be satirical
Too soon, Onion, too soon.
The onion truly is the finest news source
Why does this not seem like an Onion post lmao
Chinchillazllla Wtf real news on the onion?
When The Onion puts out actual news...
The Onion has been so on point
The sad thing is that this would actually happen.
LOL. Too soon.
im sorry for your writers at this point like this legit sounds believable
Not the time guys
florian_krammer Had these protestors been black they'd be dead
okay SHIT
Hahaha too soon. LoL
Damn I hope they were able to do deal with that menacing jaywalker
Damn, that was fast
the onion dont miss
Yeah man yeah
Too soon...
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