Vol 57 Issue 1

Vol 57 Issue 1

D.C. Police Lose Control Of Rioting Trump Supporters After Hundreds Of Officers Called Away To Deal With Black Jaywalker

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

1/7/2021 12:05:00 AM

D.C. Police Lose Control Of Rioting Trump Supporters After Hundreds Of Officers Called Away To Deal With Black Jaywalker

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

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Trump should resign or be removed by 25th Amendment: Illinois Republican Rep. Adam Kinzinger

Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., and Adam Kinzinger, R-Ill., appeared on ABC's 'This Week.'

Accurate. stanley33y0 Lol picbykap2 How can one confirm this is true or propaganda? It's possible but who knows anymore. robdelaney Hahaha spiritswest Not funny fatty. PatTheBerner Shitty part? Fucking believable. cheeseyqueso I’m wheezing 😂 jmcgarrah2 Did yall run out of jokes and pull a race card. Lmao.

itscheshi When did you guys start reporting real news?! That’s disappointing 🤣☠️ MurphyYuiko ambrown This is a joke? Right. yr_malpar Funny how onion has remained oddly quiet over Seattle and portland, yet is all up on its hind legs when the other side growls a little. Oh and the police did shoot someone but as they were white it aint getting traction with the onion

benwikler I think it meant to say called away to beat and kill a black person. Are you freaking kidding me? drbarnard They didn’t loose control. They were part of the act. Hey buddy,this is the Onion 🧅 It’s meant to be absurdly funny. Lighten up BeautyAbounds4U There has to be “CONTROL”, to “LOSE” it! So I say: Let’s STOP the BS.

bchisum76 Unfortunately, satire is dead, Trump killed it... Is it satire if it’s completely feasible that this is a legitimate story? PatTheBerner This just in the black jaywalker was shot 32 times by 7 officers. He was blind with a walking stick officers said he had a weapon. That’s more realistic. HarryRBurger Once again, the Onion publishes THE TRUTH.

garfxist Jesus True! MirMAKOfficial Let's focus on our own house. Hint: dharna in Karachi. HalfLuckyRed ItisIWOOSH WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SATIRE AT?!?!? anarcanon I fucking love you 94960Art Satire is now real life. 🤪 chadloder 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ha!!! I would like to report my murder Scvmjvnker rodriguez_linda Best onion tweet ever

rob_sheridan I mean Ouch Accurate Reporting Thank You Onion 🧅 I love you guys.. i cant think of anyone hitting the spot s you do. NotTheOnion LiterallyTheOnion acarboni The Onion can always be counted on to cover the stories of our time: ExtremeRickman Oof. God damn, Onion eamonnwarner You're too good at this.

caitoz Unarmed black jaywalker. Onion rn BigIfTruman y'all quick USA was exporting democracy to countries like Afghanistan, Iraq but now Americans need to import some democracy back Not everyone knows that The Onion publishes satire. Cool it. Don't risk fanning the flames of this conflagration. Goldfingas Wait. Since when did the Onion actually cover real stories? :P

As a black jaywalker I find this offensive. Fix Your Headline TERRORISTS. INSURRECTIONISTS. RIOTERS. [snicker] PearlThusi Follow TexusPro Good. Arrest that j walkin mf! Chinchillazllla Sadly true meJVT Funnier line would be “while hundreds of officers are protecting BLM graffiti across the district”.

I don't think this is the best time to make this tweet That’s about it eh? 🔥👏 I thought the onion was supposed to be satirical Too soon, Onion, too soon. The onion truly is the finest news source Why does this not seem like an Onion post lmao Chinchillazllla Wtf real news on the onion? When The Onion puts out actual news...

The Onion has been so on point The sad thing is that this would actually happen. LOL. Too soon. im sorry for your writers at this point like this legit sounds believable Not the time guys florian_krammer Had these protestors been black they'd be dead okay SHIT Hahaha too soon. LoL Damn I hope they were able to do deal with that menacing jaywalker

Damn, that was fast the onion dont miss Yeah man yeah Too soon...