Confiscated Patriots Videotapes Contain Extensive Footage Of Tom Brady Showering

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NEW YORK—The hundreds of hours of game and practice scouting videotapes that league officials seized from the New England Patriots also include over 100 hours of painstakingly thorough footage of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady in the shower, sources within the NFL competition committee confirmed Tuesday.

"We are still investigating whether the assembled shower footage of Brady soaped up and wreathed in steam—which I can personally confirm was in fact taken in the showers of several different NFL-affiliated facilities around the league, and appears to have been shot by head coach Belichick himself—constitutes a violation of league laws or policies," league spokesman Greg Aiello told reporters during a press conference held at the league's Manhattan offices.

Analysts agree that the bulk of the shower footage, while certainly unusual in many aspects, seems to have been shot with Brady's full knowledge and cooperation, although Brady does not appear especially enthusiastic. Early footage is also said to include showering quarterback Drew Bledsoe, then the Patriots starting quarterback, and at least 25 minutes of the earliest-known material was evidently shot in the showers at the University of Michigan as Brady was being scouted for the draft.

 

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Okay, so I followed the Onion one day, please forgive me...

If you took a tape of his house it’d be his kids showering

This is obviously imperative to finding out the truth, those tapes must be released to the public immediately! It's the only way

Is there a way to see said video? I’m asking for a friend.

HELL YEAH!!

...Continue.

Nothing would surprise me about the Gaytriots.

I bet he's uncut

does he manscape?

At least it's not a video of Brady holding hands with Alisha Wainwright.

He's using that Old Spice Melange to clean himself.

rslashpatriots I want all the copies 😍😍😍

Don’t show Gym Jordan.

friedensophie

jjzhub Ahahahahahahah!

How much?💰💰💰

Deflated football on a rope?

As long as it is tastefully done, it's art.

I wanna see him naked

Thank God they didn't find the video of Robert Kraft getting jerked off!

BillSimmons this one’s for you

trump’s pee tape

TellEmSteveDave

uh where can i get a copy? rslashpatriots

I think he has an NDA for that

RealJoaoDias MIGUEL NUNES HAS JOINED THE CHAT

He looks 'deflated'

Axe

considering the existence of the Bob Kraft tapes, this is a relief.

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