As a pregnant feminist expecting parenthood to be 50/50 with my feminist husband, I was very optimistic. Four years later, I found myself being the Go-To-Parent both inside and outside the home. I was doing more than 50% of the parenting and household duties while working enough part-time jobs to earn a full-time salary.
I carried the baby and, after his birth, tried to breastfeed After our son’s first birthday, both of us should have been equal once again. And yet, I continued to be the one to email his teachers and RSVP for his birthday parties. I ordered our son’s clothes during sales. I knew his friends’ names and most of the parents’ too. I was doing all of the emotional labor for the three of us.
I started to resent my husband. It wasn’t just because that first year was exhausting, especially combined withand trying to parent a bad sleeper, but also because I found myself resenting my husband’s many successes. Sure, I was sometimes eking out poems and presenting at conferences, but I wasn’t moving forward in my career like he was. What if, despite theAt this point, we were both in our forties and knew better.
Was I falling prey to what “society” wanted me to do as the mother? Was “society” going to knock on the door to check that I had emptied out the dishwasher or would my poems, if I ever wrote new ones, be read by “society?”
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