Cold, Distant Boyfriend Finally Opens Up About How Horny He Is

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LOUISVILLE, KY—Breaking from his usual detachment and allowing himself to freely discuss his heightened level of sexual arousal, cold and distant local boyfriend Andy Bokelman finally opened up to his girlfriend Tuesday about just how horny he was. “I know I’m not always the best at talking about my emotions, but I wanted to let you know that I am incredibly turned on right now and am ready to fuck, like, immediately,” said Bokelman, adding that while he hoped his romantic partner Laura Pendergast already knew he was feeling so hot for her that his penis was about to explode, he knew it was important to say these things, too. “I’ve been trying to get to a place where I can allow myself to be vulnerable and honest with you about how I am, at the moment, so hard my dick could cut through a diamond. Because I know if I give myself permission to acknowledge and experience these feelings, then there’s a chance I can respond to them in a positive way before I go off like a fucking fire hydrant.” Bokelman speculated that his difficulty talking openly about the subject might have come from having a closed-off, emotionally stunted father who never once mentioned his own horniness.

LOUISVILLE, KY—Breaking from his usual detachment and allowing himself to freely discuss his heightened level of sexual arousal, cold and distant local boyfriend Andy Bokelman finally opened up to his girlfriend Tuesday about just how horny he was.

honest with you about how I am, at the moment, so hard my dick could cut through a diamond. Because I know if I give myself permission to acknowledge and experience these feelings, then there’s a chance I can respond to them in a positive way before I go off like a fucking fire hydrant.” Bokelman speculated that his difficulty

talking openly about the subject might have come from having a closed-off, emotionally stunted father who never once mentioned his own horniness.

 

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It cannot be helped. 😋😜

she lools like katerino

HAHAHAHAHAHA garonhonasan

The first step..

Frustrated, bored Girlfriend about to spill the beans that she's regularly bonking the brains out of his sensitive, affectionate twin brother.

Onion writer opens up to how horny he is. 'Girlfriend' replies, 'Don't worry. I'll help you get laid. That's what a straight girlfriend's for'. Onion writer realizes she thinks he's gay. Like an 80's movie, decides to play along so they can remain 'friends'. TheOnionSucks

Imagine men being open about their emotions and how they feel Never happened to me

on reading the article we learn that he too has daddy issues yay common ground at last

Ya for other men

🗣

And after that his girlfriend never spoke to him again

LOL Oh just Eff Off 🤣👍😎

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Too soon, for the love of god, too soon!

I'm wondering what she said to get him to open up about it. She's probably a witch or something.

Awww

I like that this is in Louisville

To which Laura said, “Andy, I’ve been doing the deed with your brother. And your cousin and your best friend and your boss...”

I never regret actually reading your articles and not just the headline

Will she be able to visit the boyfriend in horny jail

Inb4 this thread goes sicko and horny jail is overloaded

Finally. I told the boyfriend - don't be shy about your raging boner. Ever!

Cold, distant boyfriend reveals his secret condom he’s been saving “for a special occasion”.

Attn stopthehorny

Not satire anymore just the truth

dwayne the rock johnson is never horny

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