The poll, which surveyed 500 million of the nocturnal scavenging insects, found that more than 95 percent believe the environment is headed in the right direction, and that in the coming years the conditions in their sewer, rotted-wood, and residential habitats stand to improve dramatically.
“It just puts my mind at ease to know my hundreds of kids are going to inherit a planet where they can thrive and where they can one day deposit their own egg cases without worrying.”“With everything that’s been happening in the world, I just can’t help but be encouraged,” said a 6-month-old brown-banded cockroach from a Queens, NY, bathtub drain, adding that with the stakes as high as they are, it was a relief that so much progress was being made.
“It just puts my mind at ease to know my hundreds of kids are going to inherit a planet where they can thrive and where they can one day deposit their own egg cases without worrying,” she added. Across species, cockroaches offered robust support for prevailing trends in environmental policy, with 86 percent expressing enthusiasm for technologies such as fracking and open-pit mining, 81 percent praising the growing demand for disposable consumer goods, and 84 percent saying they were happy with the amount of industrial runoff in ground soil. Another 4 percent reportedly skittered away beneath a baseboard crevice before answering any questions.
The survey also noted an unusually dramatic shift in cockroach attitudes in just the past year, with optimism about the planet’s future plummeting after the Paris climate agreement was signed last April, but then suddenly rebounding to an all-time high by the second week in November.
jjjinvesting What the .....🤣🤣🤣
Perfect 🤣
One of the funniest headlines I’ve seen.
They know where Baby Yoda's body is
Cockroaches, poison ivy, onion grass, Lyme tics...they’re in for the long haul.
Bullshit. There's no way to tell what emotion animals have
Hope they know the radioactivity thing about them is just a myth.
Uh oh
Well at least someone is
Cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast...
Oh no, this is one of those satirical predictions again. If The Onion is saying this now, something definitely bad is going to happen...
I'm sure they're happily reading clickholes articles(hopefully the older ones)
Damn, the Onion can’t be killed!
Sometimes I gotta feel bad for killing them...
Hopefully the lord of the roaches will be a kind a gentle leader, who will only eat half of his spawn.
Thank you for that photo and my forthcoming sleepless night.
Never understood their infatuation with boxes
unfollowed
And serving in Congress
Well at least one species is.
So the GOP is celebrating...
OrangeBowlBoys and ibToast here you go the world will be ok
I love this
Awesome!😁👍
semibogan Their planet
matthwatson
yes we are... playing the long game is paying off...
rare blow against TheBabylonBee get funny again or die
Why not? They're up 12 points in Iowa.
😂
At least somethings excited.
It would seem so yeah have actually seen a couple in the house only in last few days its concerning
im happy for them
Finally
If one of those bastards starts flying I'm getting the flame thrower.
That's great ! ya
good for them
How would we know though? They can't tell us. This is SO stupid!
Until we have to eat them all.
They are also welcomed guests of realDonaldTrump at Trump’s Doral National resort. Also known as the Trump Roach Motel.
The meek shall inherit.... Didn’t specify which species.
Most African leaders are their relatives. Roaches control the world.
Shit I can't find the Cockroach dancing gif oh fuck
That’s too bad man I’m already conducting a cockroach genocide
Plenty of dead bodies to feed off of
Radiation is the new currency
“It just puts my mind at ease to know my hundreds of kids are going to inherit a planet where they can thrive and where they can one day deposit their own egg cases without worrying,” said a 6-month-old brown-banded cockroach from a Queens, NY, bathtub drain.
You misspelled GOP.
😂
They shouldn't, haven't they seen snowpiercer?
If someone else is happy, then I am too
I am glad! At least the roaches know we are heading I. The right direction,, maybe the left could get on board as well!
They should. They currently have the US Senate and the presidency
Too smart to believe in global warming
They will be able to move from Mar-a-Lago to prime real estate.
At least someone is excited for the future
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