Environment, Vol 53 Issue 03, Our Annual Year 2017

Environment, Vol 53 Issue 03

Cockroaches Feeling Very Optimistic About Future Of Planet

Cockroaches Feeling Very Optimistic About Future Of Planet

8.11.2019

Cockroaches Feeling Very Optimistic About Future Of Planet

NEW YORK—Declaring that their outlook is as hopeful as it’s been in decades, an overwhelming majority of the world’s cockroaches said in a poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center that they felt “highly optimistic” about the future of the planet.

“With everything that’s been happening in the world, I just can’t help but be encouraged,” said a 6-month-old brown-banded cockroach from a Queens, NY, bathtub drain, adding that with the stakes as high as they are, it was a relief that so much progress was being made. “These days, it seems like there’s always another bit of news about carbon emissions, water quality, or nuclear proliferation that cockroaches can get excited about, not to mention the fact that the alley right outside has dumpsters with enough half-eaten takeout to guarantee we’ll never go hungry.”

The survey also noted an unusually dramatic shift in cockroach attitudes in just the past year, with optimism about the planet’s future plummeting after the Paris climate agreement was signed last April, but then suddenly rebounding to an all-time high by the second week in November.

“They have my complete faith,” he added. “I know they’ll do what’s best for us.”

Read more: The Onion

How would we know though? They can't tell us. This is SO stupid! Until we have to eat them all. They are also welcomed guests of realDonaldTrump at Trump’s Doral National resort. Also known as the Trump Roach Motel. The meek shall inherit.... Didn’t specify which species. Most African leaders are their relatives. Roaches control the world.

That’s too bad man I’m already conducting a cockroach genocide Shit I can't find the Cockroach dancing gif oh fuck Plenty of dead bodies to feed off of 😂 You misspelled GOP. “It just puts my mind at ease to know my hundreds of kids are going to inherit a planet where they can thrive and where they can one day deposit their own egg cases without worrying,” said a 6-month-old brown-banded cockroach from a Queens, NY, bathtub drain.

Man goes to hospital with earache, doctors discover family of cockroaches living inside his earThe man had kept food by his bed, which could have attracted the bugs. Ok, I’m done for today, thanks. 😵

Radiation is the new currency I am glad! At least the roaches know we are heading I. The right direction,, maybe the left could get on board as well! If someone else is happy, then I am too They shouldn't, haven't they seen snowpiercer? They will be able to move from Mar-a-Lago to prime real estate. Too smart to believe in global warming

They should. They currently have the US Senate and the presidency At least someone is excited for the future

Newly single Rosie Green on feeling all the feels (and kissing someone new)Everything is ramped up in technicolour again

How to Feel Nothing Now, in Order to Feel More LaterA dopamine fast is basically a fast of everything. Some engineers in San Francisco are depriving themselves in order to heighten their happiness. It's not a men thing at all. Women do it in my practice. Here's how to do Dopamine Fasting 2.0 properly, based on behavioral therapy and clinical practice: This is stupid. SF - baby - get an Ashbury high!!!

Jane Fonda on Her Night in Jail: 'It Was Just Me and the Cockroaches'The 81-year-old screen legend talks future climate-protest buddies (Kyra Sedgwick, Mark Ruffalo), why Obama dropped the ball on climate, and the origin of her already iconic arrest outfit as she makes her case to Hollywood to join her in D.C.: 'Having celebrities there means a lot.' Hard to tell the difference. 👎 Jane!❤️

A penis transplant has allowed an injured war veteran to feel 'whole' again1.5 years after penis and scrotum transplant, injured veteran feels 'whole' again: 'It's the first time he's felt normal in a long time.' Hope he doesn't feel shorted. Toxic masculinity. R/IhaveSex

This 'Decade in Film' Edit Is a Whirlwind of Nostalgia and EmotionWatch filmmaker Clementine Narcisse's (cIemmie) stunning edit of some of the decade's greatest films: cIemmie OH MY GOD CLEM OH MYGOD cIemmie SHE DESERVESSSSS cIemmie LEGEND

Write Comment

Thank you for your comment.
Please try again later.

Latest News

News

08 November 2019, Friday News

Previous news

Donald Trump Jr's 'Triggered' Is Full of Weird Family Stories

Next news

Dunkin’ Donuts Unveils New Seasonal Rotting Jack-O’-Lantern Latte For End Of Fall