Cockroaches Feeling Very Optimistic About Future Of Planet
NEW YORK—Declaring that their outlook is as hopeful as it’s been in decades, an overwhelming majority of the world’s cockroaches said in a poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center that they felt “highly optimistic” about the future of the planet.
“With everything that’s been happening in the world, I just can’t help but be encouraged,” said a 6-month-old brown-banded cockroach from a Queens, NY, bathtub drain, adding that with the stakes as high as they are, it was a relief that so much progress was being made. “These days, it seems like there’s always another bit of news about carbon emissions, water quality, or nuclear proliferation that cockroaches can get excited about, not to mention the fact that the alley right outside has dumpsters with enough half-eaten takeout to guarantee we’ll never go hungry.”
The survey also noted an unusually dramatic shift in cockroach attitudes in just the past year, with optimism about the planet’s future plummeting after the Paris climate agreement was signed last April, but then suddenly rebounding to an all-time high by the second week in November.
“They have my complete faith,” he added. “I know they’ll do what’s best for us.”Read more: The Onion
How would we know though? They can't tell us. This is SO stupid! Until we have to eat them all. They are also welcomed guests of realDonaldTrump at Trump’s Doral National resort. Also known as the Trump Roach Motel. The meek shall inherit.... Didn’t specify which species. Most African leaders are their relatives. Roaches control the world.
That’s too bad man I’m already conducting a cockroach genocide Shit I can't find the Cockroach dancing gif oh fuck Plenty of dead bodies to feed off of 😂 You misspelled GOP. “It just puts my mind at ease to know my hundreds of kids are going to inherit a planet where they can thrive and where they can one day deposit their own egg cases without worrying,” said a 6-month-old brown-banded cockroach from a Queens, NY, bathtub drain.
Man goes to hospital with earache, doctors discover family of cockroaches living inside his earThe man had kept food by his bed, which could have attracted the bugs. Ok, I’m done for today, thanks. 😵
Radiation is the new currency I am glad! At least the roaches know we are heading I. The right direction,, maybe the left could get on board as well! If someone else is happy, then I am too They shouldn't, haven't they seen snowpiercer? They will be able to move from Mar-a-Lago to prime real estate. Too smart to believe in global warming
They should. They currently have the US Senate and the presidency At least someone is excited for the future
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