Child’s Loose Grasp On Balloon Only Thing Between Peace And Anarchy At Restaurant

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Eating their meals and conversing pleasantly without paying any heed to how loosely the string was wrapped around the young child’s finger, diners at a local Panera Bread reportedly went about their lunch Wednesday completely unaware that 2-year-old Nate Pollen’s tenuous grasp on a red helium balloon was the only thing standing between peace and total anarchy.

Sources confirmed that as Pollen waved the balloon around, the restaurant’s patrons—enjoying their soups and sandwiches or silently working on their laptops—were unknowingly teetering on the very knife’s edge of madness, their path to either continued tranquility or utter chaos to be determined by the pressure applied to a length of string by a pudgy, saliva-soaked finger.

shoulda tried that with Trump

I bet that must really suck for everyone else.

Especially if there's ceiling fans.

~ Hey, elonmusk ~ Elon, hahaha!!! Good one. KimberelyLovesElonOfCourse

This hits way too close to home

cut that string rn

🤣😆

Back in my day, the only thing between was the ring between her knuckle and my lip when she'd cobra whip a backhand into your open gob.

Please Retweet. It would be great to get the attention. More than 123,000 children in Mauritania will require emergency assistance to prevent and treat acute malnutrition including more than 27,000 children suffering from severe acute malnutrition.

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