Cemetery Staff Assures Family Grandpa Buried Around Here Somewhere

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EUGENE, OR—Promising to locate the loved one’s final resting place right away, the staff at Sacred Heart Cemetery assured a local family that their grandfather was buried around here somewhere, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he’s gotta be in one of these sections over here,” said Lewis…

EUGENE, OR—Promising to locate the loved one’s final resting place right away, the staff at Sacred Heart Cemetery assured a local family that their grandfather was buried around here somewhere, sources confirmed Tuesday.

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he’s gotta be in one of these sections over here,” said Lewis Benson, the cemetery’s manager, flipping through various grave plot charts while asking around to see if any other employees had seen the deceased patriarch’s headstone recently. “Are you sure you didn’t mean to say grandma? Because we do have a woman by that name. No? Okay… Hmm… Did you opt for an unmarked grave by chance? Don’t worry he’s definitely underground somewhere.

 

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'I know we left him somewhere around here...'

No joke - when they dug the grave for my grandad, it was already 'occupied', so they buried him beside where he's supposed to be. 🤦‍♀️

If you pour a 40 to the curb right here, it'll be close enough.

Is there a discount for being buried wherever they feel?

'Where's my pop pop, damnit?!' 'Sir, I can help you, but there is a finder's fee.' 'What?! Over my dead body!' 'That would be an additional cost, sir.'

I read this as family grandpa

We'll find him even if we have to dig up every grave here, don't you worry.

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