CDC Warns About More Deadly Covid Variants After Virus Mutates Into Serial Killer Richard Ramirez

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ATLANTA—Urging the nation’s populace to remain vigilant against the lethal pathogen, the Centers for Disease Control held a press conference Tuesday to warn of an even more deadly Covid variant after the virus mutated into notorious serial killer Richard Ramirez. “In an effort to avoid this virus, we are asking all Americans to remain at home with the door locked, and we recommend cities continue to implement curfews, as our data indicate this new variant often strikes at night,” said CDC director Dr. Rochelle Walensky, stressing that Americans should avoid social gatherings as the cruel, remorseless virus was capable of moving undetected through large groups of people. “We believe that the virus is currently speeding up the California coast, with the possibility of traveling much further. Be on the lookout for common symptoms such as bloody tire irons and Satanic pentagrams. If you believe you may have seen this Covid variant in your community, please immediately contact the authorities.” At press time, Walensky urged Americans to steel themselves for additional Covid variants after getting early reports of a Zodiac Killer mutation which was almost impossible to trace.\n

ATLANTA—Urging the nation’s populace to remain vigilant against the lethal pathogen, the Centers for Disease Control held a press conference Tuesday to warn of an even more deadly Covid variant after the virus mutated into notorious serial killer Richard Ramirez. “In an effort to avoid this virus,

we are asking all Americans to remain at home with the door locked, and we recommend cities continue to implement curfews, as our data indicateDr. Rochelle Walensky, stressing that Americans should avoid social gatherings as the cruel, remorseless virus was capable of moving undetected through large groups of people. “We believe that the virus is currently speeding up the California coast, with the possibility of traveling much further.

 

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Just keep wearing a mask and wash your hands. You'll be fine.

Not funny. And certainly not funny to the families of Ramirez victims and the people that survived his attacks.

Girl you thicker than a bowl of oatmeal lawyer lookin ass

hollyepollye

Zodiac variant's been around since Ted Cruz Cruz'd the Cruziest Cruz.

that would mean everybody be looking like richard ramirez and ted bundy walking the streets its funny becuase its not true

There should be a law preventing that variant from getting a book deal.

Cancer, bested him a few years since.

Ah f*ck, it's the night stalker virus

He dead

Fact check, please BigBirdIsWatchingYou

This is why they wouldn’t listen to scientists at first. Until it actually happened it probably sounded way too far fetched

'If only it had been given an Hispanic name earlier, the threat could have been taken more seriously'

Heck.

Fun fact Richard Ramirez was caught and beat down by an angry mob in East LA.

This is not true.

onion

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