Cavs Fan Already Knows He Won’t Feel A Thing When Kevin Love Dies

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SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH—Confessing that the veteran power forward hasn’t made a significant impact on his life, Cleveland Cavaliers fan Andrew Stroud confirmed Thursday that he already knows he won’t feel a thing when Kevin Love dies. “I definitely won’t feel good about it, but don’t expect any loving tributes to his life and legacy,” said Stroud, referring to Love as a “supporting player” who paled in comparison to Kyrie Irving, Mark Price, or Zydrunas Ilgauskas. “The moment he retires, he’ll just be out of sight, out of mind. By the time he dies, I’m sure I’ll assume he’s been long gone. I mean, he did help us win a title, but he never really fit the roster and he had a ton of injury problems. If they put him on a mural with LeBron and Kyrie then I’d be okay with that, but he definitely doesn’t deserve his own memorial. I might like some fan art of him walking into Heaven. It won’t be this big tragedy though. Plus, I’ve always sort of assumed he doesn’t have a family.” At press time, Stroud conceded that he might cry if Love’s death negatively affected LeBron James.

SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH—Confessing that the veteran power forward hasn’t made a significant impact on his life, Cleveland Cavaliers fan Andrew Stroud confirmed Thursday that he already knows he won’t feel a thing when Kevin Love dies. “I definitely won’t feel good about it, but don’t expect any loving tributes to his life and legacy,” said Stroudto Kyrie Irving, Mark Price, or

Zydrunas Ilgauskas. “The moment he retires, he’ll just be out of sight, out of mind. By the time he dies, I’m sure I’ll assume he’s been long gone. I mean, he did help us win a title, but he never really fit the roster and he had a ton of injury problems. If they put him on a mural with LeBron and Kyrie then I’d be okay with that, but heeaven. It won’t be this big tragedyave a family.” At press time, Stroud conceded that he might cry if Love’s death negatively affected LeBron James.

 

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You picked the player who is the most open about mental health struggles in the nba? And he’s just a basketball player it isn’t like he is a politician or someone who wields outsized power.

This is in poor taste, I'm offended, good job Onion. Got me again

what the fuck is this article

Go ahead and attone assholes

Yikes. Kevin follows this account too

I love you Onion, but joking about someone that has depression and talks about committing suicide is not cool.

delete this shit

dude has literally publicly talked about feeling worthless and having suicidal thoughts, but yea let's joke about nobody caring when he dies because it's 'satire.'

I get this is a satirical org... but this is just disrespectful

Ouch

Cleveland: the team that should rename itself the 'Lebrons'.

Moral of the story: if your name is Kevin, don't enter the NBA.

😬

Real Gerald Broflovski being a troll work here.

I see the point i just think with some of Kevins well known struggles this is risky

Geez

Honestly, y'all should delete this. As someone that has publicly spoken out about mental health, it's affects, and been through it, this is not a good look. It doesn't work.

I’m out

Horrible, this isn’t remotely funny. Kevin love has done a lot for that city and mental health. This is in horrible taste.

Yes go over their heads Onion, go over all of their heads.

You should be ashamed but you won't be. Because you'll use anyone in pain to try to make a joke at their expense. That's fucking shitty.

So you don't give af about people with mental health issues, huh?

painless pain

ChaseDownPod deep cuts here.

You guys are funny but this is fucked up. He has mental health issues and shouldn’t see this. This is why I always throw my onions out.

Look as a clevelander I'm fine with being the butt of a joke, and I hate to be 'guy who gets mad about onion articles', but considering the very public struggle Love has had with depression, idk about this one 😬

Brilliant, and all the other replies are completely missing the point

The fuck?

Common L

Still got time to take this down

delete this. extremely poor taste. not funny at all.

L.

No love for Love huh

Ugh. Miss.

Seems a little dark, even for the Onion.

mjdorko

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