Business, Vol 56 Issue 02

Business, Vol 56 Issue 02

Cash-Strapped Men’s Wearhouse Now Offering Free Measurements Of Whatever The Hell You Want

Cash-Strapped Men’s Wearhouse Now Offering Free Measurements Of Whatever The Hell You Want


Cash-Strapped Men’s Wearhouse Now Offering Free Measurements Of Whatever The Hell You Want

FREMONT, CA—In an effort to increase foot traffic at their 1,667 locations nationwide, struggling retailer Men’s Wearhouse announced Tuesday that, effective immediately, they would provide free measurements of whatever the hell customers wanted. “We’ve trained our associates to go beyond sleeves and inseams to measure just about anything, from the distance between Milwaukee and Chicago to the density of sedimentary rocks,” said CEO Dinesh Lathi, noting that the retailer would also arrange house calls to help measure anything from square footage of a domicile to hectares of land to “even freshly caught trout, in case you want to see if you’ve broken any angling records.” “Naturally we’re still offering free chest and waist measurements, but we hope to boost sales by measuring any place on your body, someone else’s body, planetary bodies, or even imaginary or theoretical bodies. Any object qualifies; let us know what you have, whether it’s a pine 2-by-4 or an 8.5-by-11-inch sheet of copier paper. If you’ve got a prize-winning pumpkin, we’d be happy to confirm that and fit it for a three-piece suit while we’re at it. While it’s true online shopping has hit sales pretty hard, we’re still measurement leaders, and if this pans out, we might transition into an all-measurement-based company.” Lathi also stressed that the Men’s Wearhouse would still not provide garment measurements for women.

Read more: The Onion

I'd like to see how this factors into the business plan tuttleb 🤣💪 -LC Whew, okay, so I have a list ready for these guys Cue the dick jokes How you set for socks? JonahDispatch Fake news. CNN will be right on it, I'm sure. would they be willing to measure my boat by any chance? AKWARD... Does this apply to myself? Or do I need to get that done at petco?

😳 Get your free measurements at Men's Warehouse and your free cuts at Home Depot. LifeHacks

19 Times Famous Women Did Whatever The Hell They Wanted During Interviews'Incidentally, you are a sick f*ck.' —Madonna to David Letterman. Thank you, this image is going to get a lot of mileage from me.


Yemenite Green Hot Sauce (Zhug) RecipeFeel free to use whatever fresh chile you can find, but remember that this sauce is supposed to pack some heat. Oooooo lisah It’s amazing. Can also be red on color.

Cardi B Says She Wants to Become a Politician, Seems SeriousCardi 2024? Sure, why the hell not!!! I mean lets look at trump rite? Why this pic lol

5 healthy habits may offer years free of chronic diseasesA Harvard study has found that people who practice healthy habits at age 50 lived more years free of chronic diseases compared to those who did not practice any of these habits.

Supreme Court won't consider topless bansUS Supreme Court says it will not take up a challenge to a city ordinance banning women from appearing topless in public; a group with the motto 'Free The Nipple' argued that the law violates the Constitution by treating men and women differently. This is routine all over Europe and I don't think any of their children have died from it. How come this article is only showing this women’s back? NBC News must think women’s breast are nasty even after their own article says otherwise. It’s legal in Canada, but few (if any) women stroll around topless in the park

Happy Birthday, Hayes! Jessica Alba Throws Adorable Llama-Themed Party for Son's Second BirthdayJessica Alba and Cash Warren's son Hayes turned 2 on Dec. 31 Awe...that's my maiden name! Never thought about it being a first name! Too cute!

Write Comment

Thank you for your comment.
Please try again later.

Latest News


14 January 2020, Tuesday News

Previous news

Swing Voter Really Relates To Buttigieg’s Complete Lack Of Conviction

Next news

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 14, 2020